The Route Not Taken...

I have been thinking about the poem that we studied in Form4...
With the title 'The Route Not Taken'... The author/poet sort of saying he chose the route less traveled and eventually succeed.. I admire his courage to pursue his dreams.. Although he mentioned about he will never know what he would be if he chose the other route.. Just like me, but I'm a coward, I do not dare to choose the route less traveled.. I'm refering to the course on Chinese medicine that I gave up...

For a couple of months, ever since I finished my another level of education-STPM, I fell into many dilemmas and there are many decisions to be made... At this stage of transition, every decision I make will lead me to a whole different path from another... Again and again I struggled between local and foreign universities... Little that I know, that things are never about what I want..

A CGPA of 4.0 never guarantee you anything... Take note : I said NOTHING!!! It only gives you higher chance to get your choices of selections... Not that MK here cannot face a tingle bit of failure, but somehow it's frustrating to not know what's waiting ahead of us... Everyone knows how bad it feels to hope and look forward for something for so long and did not get it at the end.. When dreams that are so close cannot be materialized... In many ways the dream appears to be... For the course you worked so hard to get in, for the love you waited so long to hold... Gone. In a blink of an eye, and a snap of the fingers..

When I was still a SPM leaver, if I had chose to go to college instead of Form6, things will be so much different now, very much indeed.. Anyway, that's not the point, no point looking back and say so many "IF".. Weeks ago, IF I wanted to do BioMedicalScience I would have accepted NTU offers and go to Singapore where I long for.. But why do I always gotta go through the hard way to get what I want, some more for not exactly what I want.. Whenever I start thinking bout my study plan, I get very lost and many problems from every aspects comes in and makes things worse.. Like now, I can't even organize what I wanna type now.. I have got so much to whine about but dunno which first.. so you see my point all jumble up..

Just.... try to sort what I wanna tell out yourselve.. Can't stand the messiness?? Kindly click the [X] button on the upper right corner of the window... NONONO I'm not emo-ing, well just a little.. But really, why is it that everything that I want is rather hard for me to achieve?? Have I asked for too much?? I ain't just simply asking for it but I DID worked towards it.. No pain no gain??? There's give and take??? BULLSHIT!!! It all comes down to fate.. I really don't have much faith on fate.. Not only because I am a free thinker and I don't give a **** to what superstitious things, but I really feel that fate loves playing games with me.. I just gotta blame something else than myself!!

There's a saying goes.. You have a great purpose to serve; but you must first suffer, of failure, tired, and hunger... Crap... I just want an easy life... Crap again.. If I wanted easy life why have I chose Pharmacy as my path?? Face it, sub-consciously, I love challenges... Sorry I have no idea what have I wrote for the past hour... Just like to waste my time... And also yours :P Good night!


mk.pessimistic for the first time