Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Nobody by Wonder Girls...

I know it's kinda late.. But still... Love this song~~



[Lyrics]

You Know I still Love You Baby. And it will never change.

I want nobody nobody but you
I want nobody nobody but you.
nan dareun sarameun shirheo niga animyeon shirheo
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

nan shirheunde wae nal mireonaeryeogo hani jaggu naemareul deutji anhgo
wae ireohke dareun namja-ege nal bonaeryeo hani eoddeohke ireoni

nal wihae geureohdan geu mal neon bujokhadaneun geu mal
ijen geumanhae neon nareul aljanha wae weonhajido anhneungeol gangyohae

I want nobody nobody but you
I want nobody nobody but you.
nan dareun sarameun shirheo niga animyeon shirheo
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody nobody but you
I want nobody nobody but you.
nan dareun sarameun shirheo niga animyeon shirheo
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

nan joheunde nan haengbokhande neoman isseumyeon dwae deo baralge eobtneunde
nugul mannaseo haengbokharan geoya nan neol ddeonaseo haengbokhal su eobseo

nal wihae geureohdan geu mal neon bujokhadaneun geu mal
mari an dwoeneun marigan geol wae molla niga eobshi eoddeohge haengbokhae

I want nobody nobody but you
I want nobody nobody but you.
nan dareun sarameun shirheo niga animyeon shirheo
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody nobody but you
I want nobody nobody but you.
nan dareun sarameun shirheo niga animyeon shirheo
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I don’t want nobody body. I don’t want nobody body.
naneun jeongmal niga animyeon niga animyeon shilhdan maryeo-ahhh

I want nobody nobody but you
I want nobody nobody but you.
nan dareun sarameun shirheo niga animyeon shirheo
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody nobody but you
I want nobody nobody but you.
nan dareun sarameun shirheo niga animyeon shirheo
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

(rap)
Back to the days when we were so young and wild and free
modeunge neomuna ggumman gateodeon geuddaero doragago shipeunde
wae jaggu nareul mireo naeryeohae
Why do you push me away. I don’t want nobody nobody
Nobody nobody but you.

Friday, October 16, 2009

刺猬的爱情

偶尔觉得自己像刺猬,
爱用身上的尖刺武装自己,
为的只是不让自己受伤害,
但却无意的刺痛了周遭的人,
越是亲近的人,越容易被伤害。
某天遇见了一头猪,被它特别的气质吸引了。
与猪相处后,发现原来不同品种真的很难相处,
尽管处处小心,但还是会不小心地刺伤对方。。。
渐渐地,想慢慢地把身上的刺一根根地拔掉,
拔光了以后,自己也变成了只猪。
没有了刺的刺猬,要如何再保护自己呢?
还是要乖乖地接受猪的命运??

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Tuberculosis!!!

Shmily uploaded her Denggi poster... I can't help but to upload mine TB too...
Susah susah do d sure must present abit la...

Friday, September 25, 2009

Lunch

Disclaimer:
For those who have actually thought my previous post was a real condom, it's a chocolate...

Went for lunch at BBQ Plaza..

I wouldn't say that the food is good... just edible...

Eric and I were such a 'sua ku' cuz we dunno that we should put the pork fat on the hot plate to get some oil..

hehe.. So we ended up pretty messy...

Just from me...

Friday, September 18, 2009

Choco is better than sex!!



I've come across this very cute product...
Yes I was deceived at first sight...
Strawberry flavor taste Mmmmm...


Too bad can't get it in Malaysia...
Suling got it from a friend...
From Taiwan I heard...

mk

Saturday, July 11, 2009

H1N1 Freak Out!!!

Hey people, you are reading my blog now, post of the century~ as I have not appeared on the cyber world for no idea how long. Since you can read this, then I guess I’m still alive. Being a H1N1 positive is the biggest nightmare of my life!! Let alone all the stuff that I have gone through during my suspected period, I had been informed the wrong information twice!! It’s too frustrating for me to spill it out here… The GH Penang shows no consistency in their data provision. Do bare with my whinny complaints as I’m a sick patient quarantined somewhere inside GH Penang. Luckily I brought my laptop and thus, I was typing my post in the GH…

Alright, let me start from my onset…

2 July 2009
Started to feel unwell, had mild cough… Still practicing at the Wanderers… Unhappy L

3 July 2009
Wake up in the morning, bad sore throat and cough, dizziness, fever and decided to take a day off from Wanderers. Was asked to quarantine at Bakti Permai, one of the USM hostel and asked a friend to fetch me there, by then >> ill till half dead… Was taken to the Wellness centre of USM for screening and wow 39 degree Celsius!! Win already lo… The best thing is, I was wearing mask then, they were not aware that I was one of the committee of APPS, thus, no caution. I was confused and surprised that they let my bf to talk to me without mask!! Ish ish then suddenly!!! Someone found out I was in the APPS then everyone start wearing mask and gloves, immediately I was transfer to an isolation room and then send to the general hospital for H1N1 screening. Personals at GH are so geared up to protect against the infectious disease, I practically can’t see any part of their body exposed in air, and their whole body were wrapped up in plastic!! I was treated like some kind of freaky virus spreading maniac!! After the throat swab they immediately asked the ambulance to send me back to USM. Zzz I ended up spending a night at Wellness Centre Quarantine room, and my poor bf got quarantine as well at the isolation block.

*p/s: vomited 3 times today, didn’t really eat anything, was vomiting water and gastric juice. Ewwww!!!

4 July 2009
Moved to Bakti, everyone called that block “Hilton”, and was given single room on a different floor from the rest. Meal and water was provided and was not allowed out of the room, movements only restricted to the washroom. In the afternoon, someone from the pej*bat kesih*tan come to my quarantine room and get all my contacts during the period of APPS till my onset, then he tells me that I’m a positive and wanted to send me to the GH, after I have informed my mom and few of my close mates, he then tells me it’s pending. Zzzz he then apologize and left, leaving me depressed over my status!! Later around 10 at night, someone from the GH called and informed me that I was negative in the throat swab test. I was instantly delighted and called my doctor to share the good news, and I particularly make her to confirm with the hospital before letting out of quarantine. Of course I didn’t wait any longer to share the good news with mom.

5 July 2009
I waited for the doctor to confirm my test result, and she came back with the good news, so not for long I was released from the quarantine block. I then went back to Tekun – my hostel to check into my room. Not to forget to inform those who were concern that I was negative and kinda celebrated with bf and friends then night slept at Wern Ting’s room.

6 July 2009
A call from GH wake me from my “Date with Mr. Zhou” aka sleep~ The officer now tells me that I was tested positive and they are sending an ambulance over to transport me to the Penang GH. I was shocked and furious and clarified with them that I was told negative. But they insisted that it was the formal printout that indicates that I’m a positive so reluctantly I start packing my bag for a 2 days isolation. I suspected that things may drag longer than it supposed so I prepared for 1 day extra. This time I’m smart enough to bring along my laptop which is why I get to blog at GH, but I was too nauseous to complete it by then so most of this post I type it later, which is now… The ambulance came and again I saw this plastic covered man and he escorted me to the ambulance. Upon reaching the GH, they only allow me to proceed after they have cleared the entire path that I’m going to pass by to get to the isolation room… I’ve got a security guard and a medical officer escorting me and clearing a path of 2 meters radius from me. Civilians in the GH were asked to move aside for me to pass… See la, so “big card”!! Translate that into mandarin and get what I mean. I got a single room with tv, bathroom and air-conditioned… 4 of my other friends were admitted to the same place and they came into my room for a little chitty chat that slightly cheered me up a little. Recalling I was crying all the way from the ambulance to my room. Not because of H1N1 positive, but I was super upset and angry on the wrong information given earlier!!! I was released to the public and might have spread the virus to others!!! And on top of that, I have caused my roommate and friend to be quarantined in “Hilton”!!! Which!! Is a lot of inconvenience!!! It’s not that we are free people with nothing else better to do!! Yup, very emotionally unstable today…

7 July 2009 ~ and 8 July 2009
Today is supposed to be the first day of Year 2 Sem 1, but the School of Pharmacy of USM has canceled all the classes of Year 2, 3 and 4 for a week and was planning to replace it during the mid sem break, oh this is sad… Spent a night in GH and I was supposed to be discharged after the 6th dose of Tamiflu – the antiviral drug for H1N1, which is today… With no place to go for “Home Quarantine”, I together with Wong my final year senior was sent to Hospital Kepala Batas for quarantine until we finished the 10th dose. The ambulance driver (again wrapped in layers of plastic) was sooooooooooo reckless that I’m more worried that I might die of accident instead of swine flu… Geez!! We were allocated in the nurse hostel for 2 nights and here it’s less comfortable and creepier~~ Only 2 of us in the entire hostel… Spooky!! Anyhow, my time was killed more easily with the science fiction my senior once sent me… The novel again is about contagion, narrating few freaking scary infectious diseases like plague, tularemia, and Rocky Mountain spotted fever being spread in a general hospital. The scary nosocomial infection kinda gave me goosebumps given I was admitted to the hospital at the moment… Sigh… and the food sucks!! I wonder if they have dietitians in hospitals to take care of patients’ diet… I was given oily, spicy food for meals and even fried chicken and French fries… So much for healthy diet~

9 July 2009
I finished my 10th Tamiflu this morning and this means that I’m FREEEE!!!!!

It never ever came across me that I’ll be infected by any pandemic disease. Well, perhaps I’m not much of a fortune teller; God knows what’s waiting ahead of me… June 2009 had been the worst month of my life… I have way too many frustrations happen due to some of the decisions I have made. Now that my life is slowly crawling back to normal, I have started to accelerate my pace to keep up with my hectic life as a 2nd year Pharmacy student, projects awaiting:

1) Pharmacy School Orientation Week – delayed for 1week thanks to H1N1
2) The Wanderers Concert – 31 July 2009
3) Bungalow Stay – 1st & 2nd August 2009

Let me get all those done while busy with my already scary 2nd Year Sem 1 studies and I will come back to my blog again… till then muaxx~~

Friday, May 29, 2009

共鸣?

最近心情有点起伏,
尤其这两天,
大概因为又在看韩剧,
“花样男孩”-- 韩版流星花园,

总是这样,看着曲折离奇的剧情,
心里总有不少共鸣,也有很多感慨。。。
连续看了两天,哭得眼睛都肿起来了!!
像酱 (@_@)
刚刚看了一幕:
夏在景问具俊表,友情与爱情二选一,会选哪样?
不禁让我想起某人问过我的同一翻话。。。
但男主角的回答比我酷百倍!!
他说两者都要。在他的字典里没有抛弃这两个字。。。
果然很帅!
比起台湾的道明寺,他强太多了!!!
总之近日老是感到不安,也说不上为什么。。。
就酱。。。


Ja ne~

mk

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Love Story - Taylor Swift

We were both young, when I first saw you
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
I’m standing there, on a balcony of summer air

I see the lights, see the party, the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
You say hello, little did I know…

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said “stay away from Juliet”
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don’t go…
And I said…

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone
I’ll be waiting, all there’s left to do is run
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess,
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes

So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet, because we’re dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while
Oh, Ohhh

Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said “stay away from Juliet”
But you were everything to me
I was begging you, please don’t go…
And I said

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone
I’ll be waiting, all there’s left to do is run
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes

Romeo save me, they’re trying to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it’s real
Don’t be afraid, we’ll make it out of this mess
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes
Oh, Ohhh…

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town
And I said

Romeo save me, I’ve been feeling so alone
I keep waiting, for you but you never come
Is this in my head, I don’t know what to think
He kneels to the ground and pulled out a ring and said

Marry me Juliet, you’ll never have to be alone
I love you, and that’s all I really know
I talked to your dad-you’ll pick the white dress
It’s a love story, baby just say…yes…
Oh, Ohhh… Oh, Oh, Ohhh…

We were both young when I first saw you.

Monday, May 11, 2009

I Love You...

You brought me to this wonderful world,
You gave me this beautiful life,
You raised me up, till i can stand on my own,
You read me bedtime stories to make me sleep,
You taught me values of life, humanity, and truth,
You guided me to differentiate right from wrong,
You supported me when I was weak and down,
You pulled me through when I am doubtful and confused.


You...
You are my light,
my strength,
my inspiration...
Without you, I'm nothing...

In this meaningful season, I wanna take this opportunity to tell you that
Mommy, I Love You...
MUAXXX


To all mothers in the world...
Happy Mother's Day!!!

Well I doubt any mom gonna read my blog...

mk

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Tobacco Control Traning

Have I ever mentioned to you that I am part of the Pharmacist & Tobacco Control (P&TC) Board??
Yes we are the pioneer batch that are going to initiate a TC project in USM. So the National Poison Centre organized a training programme for us the selected committee.

Date: 1 - 4 May 2009
Venue: Camp Nur Lembah Lenggong, Perak.

All in all, I would say that the camp is very inspiring. Not to forget relaxing, what a good relaxation after finals, enjoyed the outdoor activities. We had Flying Fox across the river on Day 2 and Rafting on Day 3. Both activities carried out in the rain. Had great experience making our own raft in the rain, and rafting is exhausting!!

Training wise, the concept used is the VIPP method where they used alot of papers and encouraged participative interations. The programme has successfully make us generate a number of ideas on programme to be carried out for tobacco control in campus. Teambuilding activities let us interact with others regardless of etnicity.

We were conned!! They told us got air-cond room!!!
Well the guys room really do have air-cond...
Not fair de T.T
-Sungai Perak-

On the hanging bridge


A shot by RhuYann

Candid~

Celebrating Miao Chien's 20th birthday~


mk

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Just to tell you that I'm back!!

It's been a month since I last post an update... and just now I noticed that I have several unfinished draft in my list of posts... Anyway since it's over I see no point completing them by now...

I was a busy girl for the last few weeks, was so busy dating, studying for final, having exams and finally camping... For the whole April I have nothing to report except for endless studies and burning midnight oil... I think I wanna get out of this kinda life for the coming semester... Perhaps a more consistent study is a better way out??? and by the way, since when I've become the studious type... Continuous study makes me feel like a nerd... Oh no!!! Anyway I guess I'm gonna kiss goodbye to dean's list for this semester as I did rather badly for some of the paper... Can't finish my Pharmacology paper on time!!! Arrggghhh!!

Anyway, exam's over now. So what i did after exam? After the final theory paper, I flew back to KL for the ceremony, then rest for a couple of days and back to Penang for Dosage Form Practical test and yes!!! Finally, truely over!!! After that?? Play time!! So Redbox is a must!! Movie as well and spent most of my time with dear, one day worth mentioning is the 29th of April.

That morning we went to Tanjung Bungah to negotiate for the price of BS accommodation with Wallace and KS. After that, KS dropped us at Gurney Plaza, and from there we started our journey around Penang... Got on a cab and search for Cendol around Georgetown and had Nasi Lemak, Laksa and mee goreng for lunch... Then OMG!! It started to rain and we gotta run to Prangin Mall in the rain... Despite the messy situation, it's rather romantic though... hahaha then, went for "Wolverine" and all of a sudden we decide to go for a ferry ride... Since I've never got onto the ferry before so there we go~ Well we ended up at Prai rather lost on where to go so we went to Pacific (ermmm i dun like it here~><') and then also the Autocity... zzz yadi yada long way back to USM... phew what a long and tiring day... Had fun at Georgetown though... Then luggage packing time gives me the biggest headache of all time... Lastly, I came home late due to the Tobacco Control training and perhaps I'll bolog on that another time... I'm done for now... no heart d... Adios~ mk

Maxis Scholarship for Excellence Award Ceremony

Maxis Scholarship for Excellence Award Ceremony

Date : 24 April 2009
Time: 3.00p.m.
Venue: KL Hilton

At the ball room...
My proud dad and I ^^


Here we are, the 19 young Maxis Scholars...


So sad to missed the photography session...
Thanks to Finals...
Missed the chance to become a model for a day... T.T

New friends made... Cool people...

I flew back to KL in the afternoon on the day I finished my PNS paper, bf accompanied me to Penang International Airport and *puff* here I am at the ceremony on the following day... The ceremony was very well organized I'll say... Met some cool people and attended the very first press conference of my life... Hahaha though my words didn't come out in the media but who cares... ahhaha one word summary : happy~ and proud too... The only regret I have is the photography session that I missed.. Heck nvm what's gone is gone... So long~

Thank you Thank you...


mk.scholar

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

To him...

I don't care
who you are,
where you from,
what you did,
as long as you love me...


mk

Saturday, March 28, 2009

-home-sweet-home-

I'm home!!! Yep, in Klang...
Came back for Ching Ming prayer after all the quizzes...

PNS quiz is unbearable...
I drew the structure of cocaine wrong,
forgot most of the drugs properties,
what's stable only at acid and cold condition...?
Endless mistakes...
Didn't really finish the syllabus on time... Blah...

Had a practical test on thursday...
Have miscalculated dose, unstable suspension and gritty ointment...
Sadness... Nothing seems to go smoothly for me last week...
Don't make me recall back the pharmacology quiz on tuesday...
and on top of everything,
i'm feeling unwell again...
Ahaha my nose blockage was such a buzz that i was drooling at phenylephrine, the nasal decongestant as i studied the alpha receptor agonist. Sweat de maxima~

Then yesterday, had my worst flight ever with AirAsia back to KL...
I was expecting to reach home by 11pm ended up 2hours later.
First the plane delayed its departure due to whatever reason by 45minutes, then finally arrive at KL at 10.30pm waited for my luggage at the ring but luggages from K.Kinabalu comes out instead...
Waited for half and hour and guess what??
My luggage was accidentally flew to Kuching...
Screw you!! AirAsia!!!
Next, waited(again....!!) to make a report on misplaced luggage...
Condolences to other passengers who are staying at wherever hotel, have another plane to catch in few hours...
Thanks to their idiotic carelessness, I got lectures by my dad for another half an hours on my way back home on checking in luggage...

Anyway, I got my luggage back today morning... Some staff sent it back to my door step... He was kinda rude asking direction from me... But dunno why I'm not offended, while my sis impatiently complains about him being rude... Lol...

Finally reach home around 1am...
The minute i stepped into the living room i saw a mail for me, surprisingly!
Guess who from??
To my surprise it's from the boyfriend...
It's a simple love letter and with photos and glancing back on our footsteps...
He's sooooo sweet...

Thinking of which, he was so busy going to Sg. Dua to print things (i suspect the photos) and the post office to post stuff (i suspect the letter) last week...
Well, I'll have to say he have been planning alot of things without my knowing...
Still, was so touched loooo!!!
I am not a romantic person, so these kinda efforts never cross my mind previously...
Come to think of it, I gotta pull up my socks and make some improvement myself...
don't wanna be a bad girl friend lo...
Haha eventhough I am one...
Wish me good luck peeps...



mk.love.bz

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Celebrations

Was freaking busy with quizzes and assignments for the pass few weeks... Well still have an assignment hanging around, neeway, just had our Dosage Form Quiz yesterday afternoon and head to Gurney for my dear roommate's (aka Shmily aka Lonely) birthday celebration... We went to Redbox and watched Dragonball Evolution~ The movie was a blast!! I just love Bulma the cool chick... Hoohoo... Lonely was so touched when Dr. Yvonne sang her Happy Birthday with the whole of our class... Cool~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROOMMATE~
WELCOME TO THE CLUB 20'S
Next, it's my beloved sista's birthday today!!! I celebrate with you when i get back home ok????? hahhaa Am very proud of that noob sister for her extracurricular achievements, but curricular wise... Hhehee no comment la.. Anyway~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAY!!!!
NO MORE SWEET 16~
Right I better get back to work.. So much to do, so little time...
Pretty much because my time is occupied by someone~
Adios~ Muaxx
mk

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Sickz...

Huhu long time no see... Lately I was so occupied with labs, quizzes and assignments... Still manage to play around of course... But poor me fall sick for about 1 week and jeez, wasted so much of precious time to study... My God!! Ah, am going to dispensing lab later for dosage form practical... Making suppositories later.. And cream and ointment... The procedures seems hard.. sienz... Aiks what to cure my diarrhoae??? Handmade suppositories?? Hate to feel sick!!! When everyone else are having sleeping problem such as insomnia, I am happily having problem of sleeping too much...

Huhu, semester break is approaching, this coming holiday might be heading to Perak... It's like the must-have-holiday-trip... Perak guys faster plan a good trip for us oh!!! Oh speaking of semester break, I will have to be back in Penang a month earlier to help out in the preparation of Wanderer's Anual Concert... then end of june to participate in the APPS organized by school... Sponsorships are yet to be completed... So much to do, so lazy me... Need to start preparing for the Orientation week of the next intake, aiks becoming senior d, getting older as we speaks...

Aging is an exciting process as we learn more, but nevertheless I still feel sad for the ever losing time and youth... Haha lazy d. haven't revise for my lab later, gtg tata!! muaxx!!! This post is so random, right i'm just blogging for the sake of it... blah~


mk

Monday, February 16, 2009

A normal uupdate of life...

After the CNY break, I again back in Penang... Celebrated my birthday with friends... A really happy one... Thanks for the (almost) surprise... Haha had a great night... Then, lead on normal life routine of lectures, practicals, swimming, bla-bla-bla...
And here comes Valentine's day... Close friends were busy preparing their Valentine's present... Went to Queensbay for dunno how many times a week... Was expecting a quiet and lonely weekend for myself... Planned to study and finish my lab report and stuff, then here comes the invitations... Fully booked on Valentine's day... Noon went out with YewJin and the new couple to gurney... Took the Valentine's Package at Redbox Gurney and enjoy my all time favorite ~ singing!! Then continue to Queensbay and BZ joined us for a short walk... Indulged my long lost favorite Chocolate Indulgence at Secret Recipe~ Yummilicious... Then WS came and we went to look for a wedding gift for our SHE project... Next, table for 2 at T.G.I.Friday Queensbay... and lastly, end the day with Ong Bak 2 at Golden Screen Cinema QBM. Got a box full of chocolate and candy from WS, and a bracelet from YJ...

I know it's abit late... But still....
~Happy Valentine's Day~
To all my readers, my friends,
and of course, yewjin and winsoon...
-mk-

真的不懂吗?

不知何时,我爱上了用中文写部落格。。。
因为可以很感性,很明白,很诗意;
又或很抽象的写出某时某刻的心情。。。

那一夜,我失眠了。
在床上翻来覆去的我又写了一小段:

又是一个失眠的夜晚,
女孩打开了笔记型电脑,
只想把此刻的心情记录下来。。。

不知为何在这元宵之夜,
女孩好像特别特别地想他,
脑里不停地幻想着种种的放肆,
幻想着把自己一头栽进他怀里,
心里有股冲动如活火山似,
只差一触便会即时爆发!

女孩仰卧着,嘴里哼着抒情歌,
不知不觉思绪飘到了从前的他,
当时意识清楚知道已走到了尽头,
却贪婪地沉溺在他温柔的怀抱中,
好像中了毒一样的不可自拔!

从幸福洋溢的调情,
演变成泪湿的吻别,
只能苦笑一个无奈,
而再哀叹一个悲哀,
悠悠飘逸空气中的,
不过就是一缕讽刺 。

偶尔会回想这一路走来。。。
被逼放弃的可能,
死要面子的硬撑,
一时冲动的决定,
孤单寂寞的夜晚,
忐忑不安的心灵,
自甘堕落的活该,
若无其事的淌血,
左右为难的矛盾,
滔滔不绝的烦恼,
一言难尽的无奈,
还有种种的种种,


想了想,
再嘲笑自己的不知所谓,
到底在搞什么?
为什么人家都是那么简简单单地过,
而我非要把自己的人生弄得那么复杂?
一直坚持自己的执著,
到最后我会快乐吗?
真的能得到幸福吗?
让人伤心难过得我,
配吗?

我不懂。。。

我说我不懂,我真的不懂吗?
好像只是用来逃避的三个字。。。

有时人家用可爱来形容我,
但我觉得可笑,可悲,可恶,可怜,更为合适。。。

糟糕!自我厌恶的毛病好像变严重了。。。
一直交错在自恋与自厌之间,
快精神分裂了。。。

不写了。。。 拜拜

Sunday, February 1, 2009

回顾过去叹遗憾,
放望未来惧不安,
止步当下空惆怅,
进退两难站亦难。

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Happy 牛 Year!!

Aloha amigos~
Imma here to wish you guys a Happy Chinese New Year!!!
May you have a great year of Ox filled with happiness and prosperity everyday!!
Well well well... Have been visiting friends house for the past two days, this year, our troop of visiting has gotten smaller then ever, as many of us are diversed to different life now, having meeting new people... Some of us are busy with their own new friends... Speaking of that, next year most probably will not be meeting SuLing dear as she will be flying to Scotland this September... Gonna miss her so much...
Alright, skip the emo and sorrow during this delighted and blessed festive season. Coome back here, I was wondering should I continue blogging? For the fact that I don't really have time to blog, well as in producing a good one.. My blog is damn boring.. you can tell from this post itself.. i have little access to the internet in my hostel, thus lack updates in weeks, sometimes months!!
I'm entering the 20's Club in 3days, and I'm not sure whether or not I should be happy of it... This year I guess there will be no celebration for me... Cuz the date is so neither here nor there.. Nvm next year when i turn 21 i'll make a huge fuss out of it..
In deep confusion I am, sometimes feeling like I have never crawl out of that trap of past, yet at times I felt like i'm falling into another hole of fear...
Great.. shouldn't have thought so much...
mk_too much a thinker

Friday, January 2, 2009

Self Evaluation of the year

1 Jan 2009 - Thursday

I woke up in the morning in a self-hating mode. I hate myself for being so self-centered, self-devouring and selfish. I am always aware that one of my weaknesses is being too self-centered, so selfish to the point that I took others for granted without noticing that I did. Yet I did nothing to change, in fact I doubt that I can ever change… A joking question of a friend of mine strikes my head and kept me thinking over the things that I’ve done… Yes, I felt offended; offended by realizing how I have taken my friend for granted. I try to have him helping me to finish up what I can’t consume anymore. Even if my initial intention is to avoid food wastage, and since he has always portrait big appetite… and my excuses went infinitely, I don’t even felt like explaining myself back then, maybe because even I am not convinced by my lame excuses… I felt so bad on the spot, so embarrassed and shameful of myself, yet there’s nothing I can do but faking smile… Shit!! Another hypocritical act of mine…

Since my emotion had become rather unstable, chain reactions occur. I started to think of many other times that I have taken other people for granted, people that I love! [Reminds me of the song ‘If I were a boy’ by Beyonce] I had my mom waited for me in her car; I had him waited alone while I study for examination, and many more… For a person with pride like mine, it’s hard for me to accept the fact that I have such characteristics… Yes, I want to be a noble person with good personalities, remarkable social circle nevertheless to be everything that will eventually prepare me to lead a successful life, a life of optimum wellness. Then I started to wonder, from movies that I’ve watched, am I one of those ‘Mean Girls’?? That I am somehow over-confident, usually talk what I think without much considerations, sometimes too proud, at times offensive, occasionally mean and more…

I like being around friends, hanging out as a clique, then till I realize, when my close friends are not around, I don’t have girl friends to hang out, for I haven’t been very friendly to everyone… What is the right thing to do? Shall I entertain everyone all the time to portrait a friendly image?? I am no joker… What if I get tired? What if I’m not born an extrovert? What if I get moody? I don’t see why I need to entertain everyone at all time… Yet I feel like I’m doing it… As I blog, I try to search within my soul, asking who am I? What do I like? How I want to live my life? And that goes on, I believe in my life long learning process, these questions will never cease to appear across my mind and I will continue in search of my true self… With that I will end my moody day with a long sigh and start a new day, a new year now…

Happy 2009 peeps!!
mk