Saturday, December 27, 2008

爱的回顾

前两天,跟哥通电时哥提起了以下话题。
哥问:你会要找个爱你比你爱他多的,还是你爱他比他爱你多的人呢?
我答:从前的我会选择前者,但现在的我不会想去衡量比较谁爱得比较深,只要彼此相爱就足够了。


“只要彼此相爱”
看似简单的一句话,事实上真的那么容易吗?
为何不行?是自身的执著?或对爱的恐惧?
即使被爱,也得不到相爱,只因为不懂得如何再爱。

前些天,可能因为寂寞的灵魂对爱渴望;
对某人产生了微妙的情愫。。。
他跟他有许多共同点,
打从第一眼就已被那似曾相识的感觉吸引,
再慢慢地相知相识,发现他的人生观与我挺相近,
加上蛮不错的外在条件,对自己的眼光还沾沾自喜呢!
尽管友人对他误解与排拆,我坚信自己是他的伯乐。
日子久了,谈得较多,了解较深,
发现两人的爱情观隔天离地,
不同的是,我并不会怀着会有分开的一天的心情去开始一段感情,
如果打从一开始就有了结束的打算,我不懂开始的意义。。。
想了想,原来两人好像并不合适。。。

当时对他的错觉,让我写了以下诗词:

暗恋,
这种久违的心情,近来让他给唤醒,
目光总有意无意地瞄向有他的方向,
尽管表面上看起来是多么的不在乎,
但却如此清楚地听见他说的每句话。

别人对他赞赏时,心里也沾沾自喜,
别人对他误解时,也总帮他说好话。
会想靠近,却隔着遥不可及的距离,
会想告白,但更怕日后相见的尴尬。

自认健谈的我,在他面前总是词穷,
自认勇敢的我,瞬间变得胆怯懦弱。
是自尊心作祟,坚守矜持不得追求?
或自卑心搞怪,自知不才不敢高攀?

当你向着目标发奋时,是否知道我,
也为了更靠近你一点而默默努力着?
当我看着你的背影而忽视了全世界,
耀眼的你是否也看得见不起眼的我?


距离
听人家说,
世上最遥远的距离,是我在你面前,你却不知道我爱你。。。
又有人说,
世上最遥远的距离,是明明相爱,却不能在一起。。。
也有人说,
世上最遥远的距离,是隔着一颗心的距离。。。
那如果说,

两人之间隔着的,不仅仅是一颗心,那是多远呢?

喜欢,
喜欢看你的背影,
是因为不敢正视你的轮廓;
喜欢听你的声音,
是因为能感受到你的情绪;
喜欢说你的故事,
是因为可以炫耀你的骄傲;
喜欢想你的如果,
是因为那是我唯一能做的。


现在读一读,竟想不起当初是以怎样的心情写的,是不是我又成长了一些,得以从幼稚的感情中获得解脱?又或者是始终逃脱不了过去的枷锁,就连眼前的感情也想一并逃离?爱情的逃兵,究竟要当到什么时候?

那天他问了我一个问题:爱情与友情选一,你会选择哪一样?
不管问题是否包含暗示或试探的成分,我不加思索地选择了后者。
即使我的回答会让0.001%的可能变成不可能,我始终觉得友谊比恋爱来得实际。宁愿享受当朋友的快乐,也不愿贪婪恋爱一时的幸福而落得失恋的悲哀。这就是现下我对爱情的恐惧、抗拒与不信任。这种心情能让我连喜欢的人都放弃,更何况是没感觉的呢?




mk

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

It haven't change much..

Had a new hair cut yesterday afternoon.. So sorry for causing ivan to be late for work and he eventually didn't work yesterday night aiks, and sorry for causing ben to be late for his badminton game in the evening.. Somehow everytime I wanna change my hairstyle, I was hoping that somehow after the physical change I can also change the spiritual me, to live on with a new me from within... However, no matter how many times i cut my hair, dye a new colour, or get a fresh new look, I still feel like the old me.. Looks like my success in escapism only last for a very short moment.. I love my life in Penang, the life that I feel so fresh myself, with new friends, new topics, new environment and all.. and most importantly, there is nothing in Penang that reminds me of the past.. The memories that I wish to remember no more.. Somethings are just unforgettable when they are already engraved on ones heart.. In Penang, the engraves are covered and burried by the hectic lifes and merry happenings, they were so unnoticeable to the point that I can deny their existances... When i was happily indulging myself as the so called new me, I came back to Klang, where emo starts kicking, and some pain starts digging... A simple word, a brief glance, a familiar route, everything seems to linked to the past that seems so clear, as if it was just yesterday... no matter how much i wish to deny it, every indication has finally prove me weak and failed to move on.. my heart still skip a beat when i hear the name.. eventhough the sore is not as excruciating as it was, it's presence is undeniable.. if one year is not enough to let go, I'll use two.. if two years are insufficient still, I'll have three... one day... i believe... i will wake up in the morning, in klang and felt no him no more..

mk

Friday, December 5, 2008

Outings...

Went for movie "Twilight" with the siblings and buddies... Forgot that it was Super Wednesday and ended up sitting at the fourth row from the screen... Looked at Edward and Bella that close had failed to make me fascinating over their chun-ness claimed by ivan and may... Was so disappointed that the romance was completely cut by whoever resposible for it... Didn't even get to see the lips touch.. ciu! Did some shopping.. Looking forward to my shopping spree when my mood strikes...

Went to pyramid again yesterday, with ivan and lilian.. Basically what i remember doing yesterday was eat. walk. eat. walk. bowling. eat again... Hahaha see see see, how to not gain weight if i have been eating so much... adui dui... Oh oh say d must announce again... I tapao-ed Ivan the NoOb again in bowling!!! Wakakakakakakkaka tak boleh tahan his noobness... No one so noob like him d one... Wanna thanks Ivan for the treat to Haagen Dazs... Freaking expensive ice-cream but every teaspoon seems to worth the money... Waiting for my roommate to treat me as promised... wakaka

^Strongly Recommended!!^ Royal Monte something...



Well was kinda down yesterday... But as followed a new awareness arises and new decisions were made... Ever since the last break up, I have been staying S.U.N- single.unavailable.and naughty rather than being S.A.D- single.available.and desperate... Just realized that I will most probably stay S.U.N in the near future... Don't ask me why... I'm just not interested...
mk

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

女孩的困惑

困惑,
是女孩人生中的常客;
偶尔出现,让女孩懊恼不已;
偶尔消失,让女孩误以为已觉悟。

女孩不喜欢困惑的感觉,
那让她不知所措的心情;
但困惑这东西死缠烂打,
不断的纠缠那静止的心。

好不容易维持的风平浪静,
下一秒又掀起了狂风暴雨。
女孩不想再陷身风暴之中,
能不能帮个忙把它给赶走。

一朝被蛇咬,十年怕草绳;
曾让女孩遍体鳞伤的泥沼,
女孩决不轻易再泥足深陷。

总而言之的一句话:
原来女孩什么都不想要!

Monday, December 1, 2008

If I were a boy...

If I were a boy
even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
and throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys
and chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
and I'd never get confronted for it cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
so they'd think that I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
and make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’ll be faithful,
waiting for me to come home, to come home.

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake,
think i'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
you thought wrong

But you're just a boy
You don't understandand
you don't understand, ohhhh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

But you're just a boy

Cinderella story

*Alarm Ringing*
*MK snapped the alarm and continue dreaming*
*Door knocked*
"What time edi?!?! Faster wake up and do the chores!!!"
Unwillingly, I crawled down from my bed, wash face, brush teeth, munched on some bun from the Bread Story... After breakfast, here comes the laundry... Walau.. Why so many garments one??!?!?! With endless complaints and whines and sighs, I finally finish all the laundries, thanks for some help from sista. Fetched her to tuition, slacked at lilian's house. fetch sis back again and start preparing dinner...
*Chop, chop, chop*
*Start the fire, fried fried and test flavor*
We had broccoli and scrambled egg for dinner, nice chicken soup... This will probably be my routine for the next three weeks until I fly back to Penang. Why?? Cuz my dear maid is on leave!!! Balik kampung d!!! OMG, best thing is!! My washing machine spoiled!!! I'm washing by hands, so sad that my smooth and soft little hands have gotten rough due to just ONE day of washing... What happens after 3 months?!?!?! Sadness...
OMG! x infinity
mk.dun_call_me_Mary

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Moments to remember...

Frankly speaking, I practically grew up with Genting... I have been visiting the City of Entertainment since I was in a baby cart, or whatever you call that thing... The first ever trip with friends that my dad allowed was to Genting, since I rather familiar with the environment there... That was in Form4 after final exam... There are a few more trips to Genting with different people and also different feelings... From making new friends, to vacation with the boyfriend, to hanging out with buddies > SEMI-D, and hosting for coursemates from outstation... Every single trip leaves precious memory and memorable moments to be glanced back...

And for this recent trip, as the most fortunate daughther ever, my dad offer to send us to Genting... Wow that was even better than hitting the Jackpot!! Aha seriously, going up by public transport is definintely not enjoyable at all... Late departure, relax travel and we arrived at First World around 2pm... Queued up for the ever crowded check-in and waited for... (No idea how long) Meanwhile waiting for the guys and some SS photography session...
I named this Angel~~

Yen Sin: "Tired waiting~"MK: "I shall indulge myself with my beloved Cheezels~ Ciu~!!"

We do best in SS-ing in boredom...

Finally got a room and we were super duper uber put down by the miniature room... Well gotta face it, First World is famous not only for the number of rooms they have to offer, but also the size of the room... Miraculously, we had 6person sleeping on two combined single bed, and 2 on the floor... Well that was an experience, sweatness to the max...

Indulge yourselve with the photos... Or else, hit the red [X] button at your wish...

-First Day-Not yummilicious at all @ Pizza Hut

Couple to-be or not-to-be?? We'll see~~After a game of snooker...

I'm in heels and still a head away... isk!!

In the cinema... James Bond 007- Quantum of Solace

Outside the -ladies- after movie... In search for the so-called Garden
~Out for some cooling wind~

Pirate ship Waiting for the Space Shot, Ting was too scared to join us wakaka



Shower cap??

Soaking wet after 2 rounds of Sungai Rajang


mk

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Holidayzzz!!!

I was typing a post full of complains and whining about my life during study week and final... But then come to think of it, I guess everyone is facing the same situation during their exam and since it's over now, therefore I shall keep that to myself... Don't wanna create a negative environment in my blog though... So I shall share my joy of the first week of my first sem break with my coursemates coming to Genting and Klang, organized by MK_da_Great!!

Have been organizing a Genting trip since October, inspired by Karen the girl friend from HBP, she was suppose to get me a room and stuff.. Yadi Yada ended up I did it all by myself... Wasn't a great organizer but I'm glad my friends enjoyed pretty much last week...
Ever since my last paper, which is the FAR 152-Public Health For Pharmacy, well haven't really studied hard for that paper since most of us tends to neglet it, whatever.. That afternoon itself we went to Redbox Gurney for Karaeoke session, weeeee~~ Sorry, singing has always been my favorite activities... 10 of us was so lucky to get a VIP room and paying only student's rate... The room is LARGE and spacious, mmmm nice.. Anyway the guys are late and somehow got them to sing out their lungs, some are pretty hilarious...

Loving Roommates.. Well exclude Exam Period...

Besties, Wern Ting...

~Pretty Yen Sin~

Happiness after Exam is like Sunshine after the Rain...
The nerds from USM Pharmacy...

Way to go!! Partner~~

-Winsoon-

-Ah Pek aka Yew Jin-
-Big Head-

-Bz-

_The girls after Redbox_~Dinner at Kim Gary~

Then on the 15th Nov, I spent whole day packing my stuff to =send to cousin's house=, =to tumpang at Shmily's crib= and =to bring home=... Walau, a total of 10 bags almost cause me to faint... Wonder how did I manage to have so many things.. Finally back Klang with 4 girls, Shmily the roommate, Wern Ting the besties, Yen Sin the cutie but hot fencer, and Yieng Ping from Sarawak... Night went shopping at Aeon and introduced them to Ivan the NoOb...
mk

Monday, November 24, 2008

付出

在一段感情里,
俩人一定不是平等的;
其中有一方会付出比较多,
而另一方就会接受比较多,
常人看来,付出的看似比较吃亏,
而接受的看来总很幸福地享受着;
以前的我不懂,默默付出快乐吗?
曾问过友人:“为何有人会傻傻的,不断地付出?”
得到的答案,让我在感情事上有更深一层的领悟;
友人对我说:“其实最后得到最多的,付出者也。”
对于那句话,我想了很久,好像也明白了其中的意义。
你,参透了吗?

Friday, October 3, 2008

We were apart, yet together we gather...

Had a gathering today with some ACSian at Klang Parade today... Ivan showed up at my crib in the morning, waking me up from my sweet dream, Showed him some photos from USM kacau-kacau abit and off we go to KP...
Had a game of bowling with IVAN THE NOOB, Ah Wee, and Poh Wei... Wakaka am proud to declare MK as the winner of the day... Not very high marks, but tapao Ivan and Zen Wee enough to make me proud and happy... Haha, whenever this happens, I MUST post a blog and loudly shout out:
"IVAN!!! YOU NOOB!!!"
After bowling, we headed to OldTown Kopitiam to have our lunch and of course, our endless chit-chatting begins... All of us shared our new Uni-life experiences, and time ticks as we speak... We finally end our gathering at 7pm, after sitting at OldTown for more than 4 hours... Wakakaka
It's nice to meet up with some of our old classmates, not that old actually, but certainly everyone agrees that says who that Uni life is easy for STPM student??!! Most of us have been studying harder than ever in university... One thing for sure, everyone is enjoying their university lifes...
The day after tomorrow I shall fly back to Penang again... Back to my hectic life with 3 Presentations, 2 Research Projects Report, 1 Lab Report, 1 Quizzes and the Final Exam waiting ahead of me... So wish me luck peeps... I shall be needind plenty of it...

Us at Old Town... Not much changes at all...
But shall say the guys now look better than before...


mk.falling sick

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Selamat Hari Raya

Lesson of the day:

Never . Never . Ever attempt to go to Genting Highland during super peak season... You'll ended up go all the way there and find no parking then head back home... Well at least this is what happened to me today... Says who that the economic is bad and everyone is having a hard time with the ongoing inflation?? Haiz, lazy to describe how freaking crowded it is up there... Even Awana is full house, Skyway also full house... Crazy... So we ended up stop for a cuppa pearl tea at Chin Swee Temple... Even there is fully parked... Then back, sleep for the whole day... What can a say more...



Selamat Hari Raya~
Maaf Zahir dan Batin~
mk

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Imma Love Singing~

Two weeks ago, imma took part in a singing competition organized by USM Chinese Society... After some training, I got through the first round and successfully entered finals... With that, I have asked my coursemates to come and support me during final, well more on Shmily doing the job, collecting names and money, booking tickets and distributing tickets... Anyway, did some shopping for the outfit and there comes the final...

After rehearsal, I felt I have more or less overcome my stage fright... Which was such an achievement. Anyway, cut the process, straight to the point, just wanna share my joy that I got the Most Popular Contestant Award and also the 1st Runner Up for the competition... Kinda proud with that despite some regrets for not being able to get champion.. Still, a great experience!!
Talk so much for what?? Photos time!!

To my friends, thanks for your support!!!





















special thank to shmily aka roommate!!
ALthough she only make it to the event right before my turn to sing...
Sam Pat po always dating dating only...

My besties in USM...
Wern Ting - First friend made in USM
Karen - Besties since Klang, member of clique 15
Shmily - SamPat roommate

mk