Self Evaluation of the year

1 Jan 2009 - Thursday

I woke up in the morning in a self-hating mode. I hate myself for being so self-centered, self-devouring and selfish. I am always aware that one of my weaknesses is being too self-centered, so selfish to the point that I took others for granted without noticing that I did. Yet I did nothing to change, in fact I doubt that I can ever change… A joking question of a friend of mine strikes my head and kept me thinking over the things that I’ve done… Yes, I felt offended; offended by realizing how I have taken my friend for granted. I try to have him helping me to finish up what I can’t consume anymore. Even if my initial intention is to avoid food wastage, and since he has always portrait big appetite… and my excuses went infinitely, I don’t even felt like explaining myself back then, maybe because even I am not convinced by my lame excuses… I felt so bad on the spot, so embarrassed and shameful of myself, yet there’s nothing I can do but faking smile… Shit!! Another hypocritical act of mine…

Since my emotion had become rather unstable, chain reactions occur. I started to think of many other times that I have taken other people for granted, people that I love! [Reminds me of the song ‘If I were a boy’ by Beyonce] I had my mom waited for me in her car; I had him waited alone while I study for examination, and many more… For a person with pride like mine, it’s hard for me to accept the fact that I have such characteristics… Yes, I want to be a noble person with good personalities, remarkable social circle nevertheless to be everything that will eventually prepare me to lead a successful life, a life of optimum wellness. Then I started to wonder, from movies that I’ve watched, am I one of those ‘Mean Girls’?? That I am somehow over-confident, usually talk what I think without much considerations, sometimes too proud, at times offensive, occasionally mean and more…

I like being around friends, hanging out as a clique, then till I realize, when my close friends are not around, I don’t have girl friends to hang out, for I haven’t been very friendly to everyone… What is the right thing to do? Shall I entertain everyone all the time to portrait a friendly image?? I am no joker… What if I get tired? What if I’m not born an extrovert? What if I get moody? I don’t see why I need to entertain everyone at all time… Yet I feel like I’m doing it… As I blog, I try to search within my soul, asking who am I? What do I like? How I want to live my life? And that goes on, I believe in my life long learning process, these questions will never cease to appear across my mind and I will continue in search of my true self… With that I will end my moody day with a long sigh and start a new day, a new year now…

Happy 2009 peeps!!

mk

水瓶座终极完美分析

几乎每个水瓶座的心底都有着一段刻骨铭心人间记忆，一个永远无法忘记的背影。那也许只是极其短暂的两情相悦，只是一种单恋，或只是一种只存在于虚幻空间。

一切看起来是那么平静，那么和谐。没有惊天动地，没有海誓山盟，没有花前月下，没有浪漫，没有誓言，没有温度。水瓶座的理智和冷漠，注定了任何感情永无燃点。

水瓶座不容易喜欢上一个人。有人说水瓶座对伴侣的要求太高，其实并非这样，水瓶座注重的是感觉。只是那么轻描淡写的一眼，那个人已经吸引了水瓶的所有注意力，从此目光便无法转移。用一秒钟爱上一个人，然后再付出一生去忘记，水瓶座就是这样的试验品。但几乎所有的水瓶都会否认在自己的身上发生一见钟情，因为一向自视清高，承认爱上一个人这钟事似乎是在侮辱自己的智商。更多的时候是因为，连自己都没发现已经爱上。

水瓶座很多时候对于感情反应非常迟钝，迟钝到每次都是最后的知情者。有时容易出现弄不清自己的感觉，不清楚自己想做什么，觉得迷惘。在对方没有非常明确地表示感情时会退怯，觉得爱情是两厢情愿，不想勉强对方。显得很被动，忽冷忽热，犹豫不决，极其矛盾。在没有完全确定前，决不轻易付出感情，因为怕失去。也许是缺乏安全感，也许是对自己的保护，也可以算作是一种自私。

一般水瓶座的好朋友都是经过很长世间的考察的，不仅仅是几年，而是十几年。一旦被水瓶座当作好朋友的，会赴汤蹈火掏心掏肺。在公车上，街边，商场，水瓶老是认错人。在茫茫人海中，始终在寻找一个熟悉的身影，直到产生幻觉。这一刻，水瓶座突然很想痛哭流涕，因为突然发现自己几近疯狂的爱上一个人，失去了理智，失去了自我。这种突如其来的感觉，很恐惧，很无助。水瓶座不喜欢这种感觉，因为不知该如何面对。要让水瓶座主动去追逐，是件异常困难的事，在水瓶座的世界里无法承受拒绝，就是这么脆弱，无论表面上看来是多么的坚强。

水瓶座在人前总是一幅无忧无虑没心没肝的样子，不想别人看见自己的悲伤，那样会有不安全的感觉，总是在无人的地方暗自落泪。算了，还是放在心里吧。既不用尴尬的表白然后遭到拒绝，又不会相爱容易相处难的惨烈分手。这样很好，没人看出来，不至于太没面子。可以继续貌似潇洒。但是，不同了。尽管水瓶座装着多么不在乎，看都不看一眼。可是对方说的每句话都从耳朵进去，没见出来。对方提的任何过分的要求，水瓶座统统照单全收精心尽力，决对不会有半个不字。完全成为一个爱情的奴隶，脸上还装酷无表情，整个死要面子活受罪。这种情况下，如果对方使点阴谋诡计，刻意疏远避而不见或是视而不见，电话不接或是哼哈敷衍等等，水瓶会给整疯了，开始会想是什么自己地方做错了，说错话了，然后拉下面子主动讨好试探。不用多，碰壁两次，水瓶座就会有自知之明了，不会再去想是为什么会这样，也不想知道了。心里会想，原来是对方讨厌自己，不想见到自己。明白之后，就是绝对的安静了。

这还没完，过了一段日子。对方如果突然又改变态度，水瓶座竟然能既往不咎问也不问，殷勤依旧，完全没有尊严可谈。只要能和对方开心的在一起，过去不重要，未来也不重要，面子不重要，金钱不重要，时间不重要，自己也不重要。天平失衡，感情重重的压在心底，自己却飘在了半空。太在乎对方，迷失了自我，幸福也变得虚无。

自己都不爱，谁还会珍惜。水瓶座一旦付出，便是彻底，不可收回。感情投入的越多越是伤的重。最擅长的是难为自己。不想对方难过，只好让自己难过。总是认为自己有超乎寻常的承受力，把自己想得太坚强，而把别人想得太脆弱。不知道，受伤的其实是自己，只是不知道如何表现出来。

爱，这个字对水瓶座来说，太沉重珍贵了，无法用语言诠释。一旦说出口，犹如远古的文物，被发掘出土暴露于空气中，变得面目全非，失去本来的价值。所以，不轻易说。

只需一次，水瓶座便把一生的精力耗尽，只因执著，便落得伤痕累累。那段感情如强酸腐蚀着那颗麻木的心，穿了一个洞，再也无法弥补。时间是世界上最有力的矬子，把空洞的毛边渐渐抚平，不再搁人。每当寒风吹过，犹闻隐约凄凉的萧萧声，似挽歌。只需一次，水瓶座便不再幻想，于是狠狠将自己摔碎，拒绝熔化拼凑。因为怕熔了记忆，怕熔了那个远远的背影，怕熔了自己千年的期盼。之后，水瓶座依然谈笑风生，依然开朗豁达，继续着一段接一段的新感情，重复着一切，因为无法承受寂寞。

人们都说水瓶花心，见一个爱一个，水瓶座会哈哈一笑，说“哪有？冤啊！”。其实心里在滴着血，脸上却得笑的灿烂，安慰自己“我是谁啊！哪会那么弱呢！”有人说水瓶座太冷酷太自私，自以为了不起。可是谁又了解，水瓶座的心，容量很小，只能有一个，且不具修改性。除了那个人，其他所有自动归为一种程序。因为无法虚伪，所以甜言蜜语都吝啬给予。因为天真，所以至死之前仍在等待。因为没有勇气，所以眼睁睁放手真爱无能为力。

当看到一个瓶子在疯狂地快乐或悲伤时，请千万不要被迷惑，水瓶总是不由自主地交错操纵着快乐与悲伤。其实并不像看到的那么快乐，同样的，也不像看到的那么悲伤。只是悲伤时，喜欢带上快乐的面具，而当水瓶快乐时，悲伤又不肯轻易放过。

只有真正懂得水瓶座的人，才能看见眼底那一缕似有似无的哀伤，才能明白是什么让水瓶如此的义无反顾，是什么让水瓶变得如此忽冷忽热捉摸不定，才能体会水瓶的坚强只是竭力掩饰的脆弱。

星相上说，水瓶座往往不被所爱的人珍惜。我想，是为什么呢？也许答案就在心中，只是水瓶座的本性不愿承认而已。

水瓶座除了需要一个深爱自己包容一切的人以外，还需要一个心理医生

What my birthday means???

February 3, 1989

Lucky Color: Saffron

Personality Strengths: Focus, Care

Personality Weakness(es): Over-confidence

Successful Career Path: Fashion

Sense of Humor Style: Campy

Adjectives to Describe You: courageous, enterprising

Description: A hip non-conformist who truly stands for his/her beliefs - you are out to make a difference in this world, and you have a realistic chance of success. You have always been self-driven and derive your inspiration from those close to you. Ambitious - and why shouldn't you be - the sky is the limit for you!

mk

Back in No Time!!!

Hey peeps, for your information I'll be back in Klang tommorow afternoon... And pray for me a safe journey back k?? Can't wait to see my beloved family... They missed me SOOOO much... What to do, I'm too adorable.. Haha I missed them too kay?? And yeah of course not to forget my another beloved bro Eric... Damn nice can finally meet after 7weeks of seperation... Although I'm happy here I still can't help to miss him once in awhile... Bro, a call that you made do makes my day... Although at times I called him till low credit la, dunno what's wrong with hotlink service, call Activ10 also so expensive... Cheat ppl's money wei!!!

By the way, just explaining why I didn't go home early as according to my actual situation I can go home on Thursday itself... But then... due to the Convo exhibition that I took part in, my duty last till today noon... So yadi yada I'm late home and I missed Ben's birthday celebration!!! aiks got people 20 years old d... Old already loooo... Hope he'll like the present that I bought all the way from penang... Wakakaka

Although I'm late home but I never waste my holiday playing time... On friday, Shmily and I went to Queensbay and walk whole day there... This time I say whole day I really mean it.. as we reach there at noon and we left there at midnight... Basically because shmily got a friend visiting us from health campus... Future doctor wei.. Haha, not handsome but definitely a nice dude... And for that outing I spent alot again... Aiks.. Sorry!!! I just can't help it... Imma shopaholic desuka!!!

Okay, just to note something good about my PharmEx, I get to know a couple of seniors then they are all nice people... Checked my body fat mass today... 20.5%... My BMI is just ideal.. 18.5.. Fuh no more under weight... Healthy wei!! hahaha although I gained weight, but seriously... Who don't when they come to penang??? hahah Alright just a lame excuse... I just gained weight but not fat kay??? So bk don't you dare call me PP... :P

Okie wanna head back to my room d... I think I will upload photo's when I'm back home...
tatala...


mk

One Week To Go...

Hey people, is me again... This week is relatively more free than other days, Convex is coming up, my duty schedule falls on the 14th, 16th and 17th and guess what?! My Sunday duty is only till 12.30pm!!!! Which means by right I can go back on Sunday afternoon if not for the stupid super late schedule... I tell you!!! Those "PEOPLE" really sucks when comes to speak of efficiency!!! Ish!!!

Ah... Before I'm here I often said that we can still keep in touch via the greatest invention >> Internet but I find it hard to even find time to update myself and keep in touch with my old friends... My hotmail inbox is always loaded with unread mails, my blog is always lack of updates... I feel so wasted for not having time to blog as there are so many happening that i wish to record in the past few weeks...

Remember I mentioned bout Bon Odori?? Ok, finally a short paragraph for that over-back-dated outing... Bought a bus ticket for RM5 to go to Esplanade to attend the imfamous Penang Bon Odori, saw many cute japanese girls in Kimono, Tako tako is yummilicious, join the fun in Bon Odori Dance, bought a fan, a mask and watched the best fireworks in my life... What else?? Photos will be uploaded later, PERHAPS... Haha...

Have been getting along very well with my dear roommate, in fact we are too close together, measuring the time we get to know each other... Most people thought that we have long known each other.. We are similar in many aspects and makes us same of a kind... Plus the talkative and extrovert nature of both of us we are actually quite welknown among our coursemates... Last week we found out that we like the same flavor of HAll's sweet which is the Green Tea flavor we were shocked as most people feel weird bout that flavor... One fine morning, we were both thinking bout a same song and we were thrilled by that... Kakaka one thing fortunate is that we both have different taste on the type of guys we like... Phew, later both like same guy then cham...

One day we grouped into the same group for nursing home project we get another 2 malay girls and they introduced themselves as Mar and Mas, both roommates as well... Ever since, we call them Marmas... Then all of a sudden I come up with an introductio for both of us, since I'm Sue Chin and my roommate is Shi Min, you can call us SuShi... Lol sorry just another lame act of mine... :P Okay, enough of my roommate...

Next is the Bungalow Stay (BS) that seniors organised for us... Shhh, this is an informal orientation for all chinese only... Again we were grouped into 8 groups of 8... I'm the group leader for my group and in fact I'm the only female leader among all 8 groups, lol ShiMin aka Shmily keeps on say that it was a funny scenerio to see all 7 tall guys and petite me to go in front when they call upon the leaders... Bah, as usual I barely slept at night in this kinda trips... Chitty chat with friends and seniors and rest for an hour or two at dawn... Achievement from the trip, I was the Best Female Participant (proud giler) and was also elected as the Female Chinese Representitive for my year... Was freaking shock when I know I was elected, but nevertheless happy to be entrusted by my peers... My partner is a STPM student as well and he is from Johor, heard people say that he is very keng... Haha but i dunno la... BS is awesome except for it's super exhausting and nearly caused me sickness after the trip...

Well there are happenings in almost everyday of my life and I regret that I don't have the opportunity to record them all here... Haha some of them I also forget d... Just wait for the photos to be uploaded la... A picture speaks a thousand words, then I also no need to type till so kang ko no??? Hahaha

Phew today's post is long wor... Thanks to the stupid pharmex meeting I cannot go back to my room and have my sweet nap... Have class at night samor, 8-10pm... Sienzzzzzzz Oh went to Gurney last week for Redbox, but voice wasn't good at all, haiz everyday stay outside eat outside food pulls me to further imperfections... Acnes pop out like nobody's business, getting darker thanks to UV from Mr. Sun, leg muscles gets bigger and bigger due to endless walk in and out of campus and lastly, I still love my campus life...

That's all for today... MUAXXX


mk

I'm doing better than great here...

Yo ho peepow!!! Am waiting for youtube to buffer my currently favorite drama "Fated to love you" So got sometime to blog blog abit here la...

Hehe lilian, go go join fencing... This Fencing Club in USM is not a part of co-k, so very easily we can get to register... Cf wanna join Kung fu Club... ~Everybody Love Kung Fu Fighting~ I can't join cuz if I join I will become Kung Fu Panda!!! HeeYa!!! with humongous eyebags... wakakaka University life is just awesome...

Somehow I am glad that I come so far away from home, as not only that I get to learn to be more independent and tough... If I am studying at KL, I'm sure that I'll go home every weekend and bring my whole week laundry back for my maid to wash... But here??? Everything D.I.Y... During weekend I have more time to study and play and also get involved with various activities... Ain't my life more colourful so???

Actually I'm still too busy to update a real blog.. Don't ask me why I got time to watch drama but not blog k??? Watching drama once a week at internet cafe is like my only entertainment here... Just got 3 more assignments today, am the leader for a nursing home project so... gotta be responsible abit la... Looking forward to the BS next weekend, so this weekend aim is to finish up my assignment on literature evaluation... Go Go MK!!! Fighthing!!

I think I can do it... hahaha yup see me so friendly also know I have made many friends la, still making new friends every single day... Slowly la~ Oh yea, cousin brought me out for dinner today, cf tags along... We had durian and I had Char Kueh Teow... happy~~

Lastly, just a reply to Sherlyn :
"I guess I was lucky in STPM... I really enjoyed my Form6 life and in fact I actually played the most in Form6, still remember I use to play Badminton with lilian every week or once a fornight in Lower6, then after that addicted to Bowling... Chess club every Friday... Hmmm I guess form6 is not just study hard but real important is to study smart.. Search within yourself and get a study method that really suits you... "

People say Uni life is easy for STPM student... But I just have to strongly disagree with it as my life is really busy and hectic... For example guess what time I slept yesterday night??? Freaking 4am kay??? Just because I wanna copy my lecture notes in advance of my lecture... Actually was pressured by my "also-quite-hardworking" but playful roommate... Shi Min Haha we both practically siao together, eat together, sleep together, study together... What also together... Glad to get a roommate that is of same channel and frequency as I...

KK my youtube have long done buffering... So till next time... I'll try and update on last saturday Bon Odori night... Muaxx miss you people~~


mk

Check!!!

Oh I just LOVE playing Chess...
My first approach on chess is on another board game which is the chinese chess a.k.a "Xiang Qi", during primary school, no idea when... My cousin taught me how to play and I remember our grandpa loves to kacau and advise us what to move and what not to... He sort of missed the point of "Guan Qi Bu Yan" which means audience/observer shall not speak...
But for Chess, my first time playing will be in Form 1.. When I blurly participated in Bukit Kuda Chess Closed Competition in 2001... Imagine I went and participate a game that I have never played before... Can't comprehend what was I thinking back then... But ever since, I have been interested in this brain straining board game...
Due to my ketidak-cekapan, I never get to find out about my school chess club... I missed their General Meeting EVERY YEAR without fail, from 2001-2005... I wonder how I did that... lol So when did I actually started to be active in chess??? I think it's somewhere around 2004/05.. I finally get to join BK Chess club in Form5 eventhough I missed their general meeting, and to my surprise, my club teacher assigned me a post without my knowing.. So I actually get a certificate of appreciation without doing anything.. Cuz I'm the Ketua Taman, but Chess club don't have a taman... LOL...
I was also lucky to be chosen by my teacher to participate in Chess MSSD Klang.. Out-of-school exposure is always good as I duwanna look back at my school days and see only classrooms... Well that's my first and last time in Chess MSSD, and due to insufficient experiences and skills, I didn't win lo... Still I won 4 out of 7 games; not bad la... Our school team were at the 6th placing but only Top 5 is awarded... LOL not pro enough, what to do?? And to my surprise, I met Chye Soon [my once upon a time crush] at the competition, somemore he's those top10 player in Klang.. So pro... Hey, if you're reading this So-on; don't get proud and bloated ya... :P
p/s: I got some correction to do here.. ChyeSoon says he was in Top4 for 3 years... Haha not Top 10... Aiks, wrong information for you all SORRY~
Besides, I also have a couple of friends who are chess kaki(s).. Like Ben a.k.a Sifu; Cheng a.k.a Kor [back then]; Nicholas; Jia Yi, Chei Tgeng... Aiks but my girl friends don't play chess, tak syok... Oh speaking of this makes me miss old secondary school days... I always kena tapao by Sifu and Cheng when I play with them..Too noob d they say... Then I joined ACS Chess Club and have been active in it... Here I now more chess kaki like Alex and Ivan..Most of the girls in the club DO NOT play chess, lol bo pian..
Now my more regular chessmate will be my bro(s), both biological bro and wanna-be bro a.k.a Eric... At home I always tapao my little brother who are obviously lack of experiences... Then Eric, wakaka I still manage to beat him once in a while... Like just now I just beat him in ChessHere.com, while Yahoo! Chess are having somewhat Version Conflict and many seems to have problems using it... Wahaha still in a winning mood and therefore I crap so many nonsense about my chess experiences here.. Just wanna say... ERIC, YOU NOOB!! Haha, I hope that will get onto his nerves~

Bored already??? Me too... Adios~


mk.noob chess player

The Route Not Taken...

I have been thinking about the poem that we studied in Form4...
With the title 'The Route Not Taken'... The author/poet sort of saying he chose the route less traveled and eventually succeed.. I admire his courage to pursue his dreams.. Although he mentioned about he will never know what he would be if he chose the other route.. Just like me, but I'm a coward, I do not dare to choose the route less traveled.. I'm refering to the course on Chinese medicine that I gave up...

For a couple of months, ever since I finished my another level of education-STPM, I fell into many dilemmas and there are many decisions to be made... At this stage of transition, every decision I make will lead me to a whole different path from another... Again and again I struggled between local and foreign universities... Little that I know, that things are never about what I want..

A CGPA of 4.0 never guarantee you anything... Take note : I said NOTHING!!! It only gives you higher chance to get your choices of selections... Not that MK here cannot face a tingle bit of failure, but somehow it's frustrating to not know what's waiting ahead of us... Everyone knows how bad it feels to hope and look forward for something for so long and did not get it at the end.. When dreams that are so close cannot be materialized... In many ways the dream appears to be... For the course you worked so hard to get in, for the love you waited so long to hold... Gone. In a blink of an eye, and a snap of the fingers..

When I was still a SPM leaver, if I had chose to go to college instead of Form6, things will be so much different now, very much indeed.. Anyway, that's not the point, no point looking back and say so many "IF".. Weeks ago, IF I wanted to do BioMedicalScience I would have accepted NTU offers and go to Singapore where I long for.. But why do I always gotta go through the hard way to get what I want, some more for not exactly what I want.. Whenever I start thinking bout my study plan, I get very lost and many problems from every aspects comes in and makes things worse.. Like now, I can't even organize what I wanna type now.. I have got so much to whine about but dunno which first.. so you see my point all jumble up..

Just.... try to sort what I wanna tell out yourselve.. Can't stand the messiness?? Kindly click the [X] button on the upper right corner of the window... NONONO I'm not emo-ing, well just a little.. But really, why is it that everything that I want is rather hard for me to achieve?? Have I asked for too much?? I ain't just simply asking for it but I DID worked towards it.. No pain no gain??? There's give and take??? BULLSHIT!!! It all comes down to fate.. I really don't have much faith on fate.. Not only because I am a free thinker and I don't give a **** to what superstitious things, but I really feel that fate loves playing games with me.. I just gotta blame something else than myself!!

There's a saying goes.. You have a great purpose to serve; but you must first suffer, of failure, tired, and hunger... Crap... I just want an easy life... Crap again.. If I wanted easy life why have I chose Pharmacy as my path?? Face it, sub-consciously, I love challenges... Sorry I have no idea what have I wrote for the past hour... Just like to waste my time... And also yours :P Good night!


mk.pessimistic for the first time

Back

Finally, I'm back to normal again...
You see, when you're away for 3days to an island where you only think of what to play next, what will we get for dinner, and actually get to throw everything behind your head, you get extremely down when you're back down to the earth of reality... Well I do.

So this is what happen, everyone have their own problems and sad stories behind their laughters... So do I... After 3 days of escapism to Redang, at the moment I step on Klang's land, everything rushes back to my mind replaying all the problems I'm facing in my current life... So much that I find it hard to digest... After a day or two, I am now starting to accept things in a different way, I guess the trip do take me to the moon and send me back to earth as a different person...

Oh yea, about the trip... Approximately 20 hours spent on transportation, 16 on bus and another 4 on boat... And both the bus and boat are extremely bouncy and I still feel the bouncing now... Nah just exaggerating, but then I do feel the bounce on Redang when I sat down and relax at the cafeteria (just a better word to call the canteen). The Redang Bay Resort is so low end that most of us feel like we were participating in school camps, wtf?! Yup.. How bad is the resort??? It's rated 2Stars online and to me it's way too overrated... How bad is that?? Use your imagination...

Alright, let me jot down what happened there on a daily basis, just a record to remember when I look back on this trip..

First Day.Sunday.11/05/2008
Departed form Klang the night before and reached Kuala Terengganu approximately 6am in the morning, took breakfast at their China town then headed to the jeti to wait for our "ferry".[I did not slept at all for the whole freaking night on the bouncy bus] -bla-bla-bla- and we reached Redang at dunno what time, 11am maybe, after a short briefing we checked into our rooms and had some rest and crazily applied sunblock for skin protection... I was suppose to sleep with Hui San, Pei Qi and Chun Rui but I decided to squeeze with my clique in room 51... Well, maybe I beh-cham or what but since I feel kinda isolated there It's better for me to stick to my friends and enjoy my trip~ Then we went down to the beach... The beach is really.really.really nice, with white soft sand and clear blue sea water... Ivan and I went swimming abit further for some exploration and I'm really glad that I can swim well enough to see many things... But since I'm so short and Ivan is tall so I sometimes get to tag on him and get some rest wahkaka... Then it's time for snukelling, nothing much, almost the same for every snukelling trip... I somehow thought that coral reefs are more colourful than green and brown... So a little bit disappointed on that... After snukeling we get our tea time, leisure time and dinner time, night is light and easy there... So my roommates and I went for Pool-ing and all of them are first timers, making me the one to act pro and teach them... Wakaka, then we headed to kareoke and normal la~ I just gotta show off my singing skill and luckily I still can sing well... Cause I have not slept for 30 hours d, should be half dead... Then later of the night I went chilling at the lounge with my bradas.ivan.eric.ben for chess and a cuppa cocktail... Hiahiahia, I was so lucky to win in chess that night... Hiahiahia, still happy now, Ivan you NOOB! :P and lastly we went to Laguna Beach Club or something for clubbing. This is my first time clubbing, and I didn't really enjoy it, still manage to shake something but there are many ugly.short.horny malay guys which are the big put off... Ugh.. And we head back to sleep... ZzzZzz

So this is how the first day goes... Will update bout the second day tomorrow... Oh ya, I will be leaving to Kuantan again tomorrow night as I have the Yayasan Pahang scholarship interview this saturday morning... I even went shopping for new blouse for the interview, and tonight I'm getting my hair dyed to dark dark brown again... So yea, wish me good luck in the interview as this is the only reply I got so far... pathetic 4.0 pointer I am...

signing off, have a great day peeps~

mk.tanned

Gear Up!!

Getting ready for the departure to Redang Island, one of the tourist attractions located at the east coast of Malaysia... Our bus depart at 10.30pm tonight, and I only started packing 1 hour ago... Normally before a trip I will prepare a checklist early before the trip and start packing few days ahead... Over the years I've changed and grown up to a more mature lady... No more the little girl that makes a huge fuss whenever there's an event or occasion coming up... Gahaha what a good statement to disguise my procrastinations..

I'm a lousy person when it comes to packing my luggage.. I'm afraid that I'll bring too many clothes causing my luggage to overweight and I'll end up the one suffering since I'll be the one carrying it; on the other hand, I'm afraid that I bring too little clothes to change and less variety to choose from... Hahaha, ain't all girls the same?? Tell me nothing but a YES...

Then I'll start whinning on how much I've spent directly and indirectly on this trip... Hahah won't be listing down whatever I bought for the trip, but they all dig my purse till empty is what I can say... Will still be spending over there at Redang.. Gosh, my whole month salary gone... This trip is mainly for fun and indulgence, so can't really complain much...

Well, just blogging before my trip like many bloggers will do, so won't be around till Tuesday night... Don't miss me kay?? Muaxx muaxx...

mk.sitting on the beachXOXO

Her Ordinary Days...

Blogging before work...
When I have got nothing to do and rot at home everyday, I complain...
When I got a job and work for 8 hours a day, I also complain...
When I get to do shopping and spend, I still complain...
When I happily used up my money, I complain again...
Conclusion : I'm an opposition... I complained on everything!!!

_____~Work em' up~_____
Working noon shift today, which means till 10.30pm, which further means dad might over-paranoidly wait for me to get home and eventually nag at me... What job to find next?? Office definitely won't want me for 1 freaking month... I need a part time job, short hours part time in the morning... So anyone, pls let me know if you got any good recommendation for part timers...

_____~Crapping A Business~_____
And yes!! Am going to Lagoon next saturday with sistas~~ Aiks! gonna get tanned so soon and can't show off my fair skin in Redang d... ish ish, kidding I where got what fair skin wor... So I'll try to update my outings... Though I'm super uber lazy on updating outings... By the way, watched "The Forbidden Kingdom" with Eric and Ben at Aeon yesterday... The movie was great but I find something ridiculously hilarious as imagine watching the Jade Emperor, Sun Go Kong and yadi yada speaking English wtf! Still Liu Yi Fei the Chinese actress that plays Golden Sparrow is undeniably beautiful... Jealous-nyer~~

_____~I'm way too Beautifoooool Girl~_____
It's an instinct for mortal human like us to love beautiful things... People pay thousands to travel around the world to see beautiful sceneries, some pay millions to possess beautiful stones>>diamonds maybe... And most of us, will be attracted to beautiful people around us, nonetheless... So am I... As I'm longing to visit Redang the-everyone-say-is-beautiful-beach, and insanely peeped on the handsome guy, i think his name is Seng Qian or something, that works at PA Bkt Raja... Gahaha, peep only haven't stalk him yet, aiks I'm a potential stalker d jeezzz...

_____~Wish of The Day~_____
It's JX big day today...
So Happy Birthday Jia Xin!!!!
muamuamua (-3-)
No celebration is planned,
so I guess we'll make that up next Saturday at Lagoon k??

thats all, cheerio~

mk

ShOw SoMe MerCy! sHoW sOmE mERcY!!

The other day I got this email from Eric with the title: "A must watch!!! This is seriously inhuman!!!" and there is this link to A Shocking Look Inside Chinese Fur Farm, there was description on how helpless animals like foxes, rabbits, raccoon dog and etc are treated in a chinese fur farm and there's a video showing how a raccoon dog was brutally skinned alive... Please do not watch the video with children around, the animals have not been shown a slightest kindness...

It was on survival instinct when our ancestors hunt animals for living... They need meat for food and fur to stay warm... But now that we are able to make clothes from cotton and wool, why do we still need fur goods? Fashion? Some says... Oh please~ What is so nice and fashionable about wearing a thick, fluffy fur garment that makes yourself look like a big, fat bear?? And When the Buying STOPS, the Killing STOPS too!!! So please do not buy fur garments... Also spread the awareness to your family, friends, relatives and colleagues!!

Sorry for the lack of updates, I'm currently unemployed and are super free staying at home doing nothing~ But! Ever since my results are released I have been busy checking out universities and scholarships available for undergraduate studies... Never prepared for it before the release of result as I never thought I will get such results... Now I have to sign up for TOEFL and IELTS in order to get an admission into a university in Australia or New Zealand... It cost me more than RM1000 for both of the tests... Freaky!! Furthermore, I'm in another dilemma whether to study Pharmacy or Nutrition&Dietetics/Food Science... Dad or most adults will want me to take the so-called more prestigious Pharmacy, but I personally prefer food over medicine... What should I do?? Though I'm interested in Pharmacy as well~ zzzz Hate being so indecisive!!!

Alright, gotta get back to my survey for universities~ So sick of that!! *puke in front of my laptop* Uh, gotta clear up some mess now too... So till my next update~ Cheerio!
Adios amigo~~


mk.bloody mary

P/s: keep the video out of sight of children! I can't bare to finish it myself!

wooo this is mk blogging early in the morning... Oops or should i say early in the afternoon?? I just woke up from bed like every other oh-so-free day,i slept half my day away...
woots! my house has no water supply this morning, still out of water now i had to use drinking water to brush my teeth... so weird because i feel like drinking that water but it's with tooth paste... I still end up drinking a couple of gulp though [without tooth paste of course!!!]... hey I'm no freaks, no! it's a waste to use up all the drinking water just on brushing okay??? especially during water shortage day... plus, i only drink boiled water at home, not those "safe-for-drinking" filtered water from the the pipes... exceptions for Diamond water that my friends served me at their house though...
Some of my finger tips are soring.. due to the alcohol i took last night... not much okay, beer only... told you i'm a mild drinker... it feel very much like inflammation.. Alcohol affects your health people... not talking about "DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE!!!" that's like a slogan since forever... Drinking alcohol causes diuresis- production of large amount of urine as it inhibits the release of anti-diuretic hormone(ADH)... So my theory is we will have mild dehydration after consuming alcohol, as we have many water loss from the urine... but what does it has to do with the sharp pain i felt on my finger tips?? Explain, anyone? Darren, the doctor-to-be??
SPM results are coming out in a week time, i suppose STPM results won't be much further away, looking forward to it... If it's good i'll be busy applying for many other universities else than the locals, and if it's not good then i'll save my time and see what i can get in the locals.. sigh... So much to worry about, so little care about it...
Really!! after the battle during STPM preparation I'm kinda traumatized to study anymore... to think of everything i read in the books over and over again when i'm doing my daily routine it's like i'm haunted by the books!!! Lol, I was imagining my sphincter muscles relaxing when I was in the toilet doing my business... (small one) and to think that my gastric juice are going to pierce through my wall of mucus in my stomach lining and caused me gastric everytime i heard my stomach groaning I'll go and eat which means people like me wont get to diet and kiam pui through the most popular way of skipping meals... Gosh, I wanna cut my tummy off!!! Please tell me that swimming works! Because I'm currently into swimming... ghahaha
vokay, enough craps for today... mmmmuaxxxx

mk

*Yawn*

I ate lunch alone today... Like, again... Just because JX feels lazy to go out for lunch... Ish ish, bad Xin bad bad.. But no big deal, I got some peace of mind when i'm alone... As if nothing around me concerns me... Somehow I'm always careless bout things around me... Careless as in I don't really care what happens around, it's none of my business... Oh i found a better word--- ignorant... Hmmm... It's not a good thing, no no... This pretty much explains why I'm so self-centered... It's always been I, ME and MYSELF... Have to get rid of this individualism in me, but how to do it without losing grip on your own personality???

Advice?? Anyone??

I'm actually looking forward to the release of STPM results.. the sooner the better... waiting is not a nice thing to do... Waiting for something to happen, or some day to come are torturing... And I was guilty to make someone waited for me for some period of time... Just wanna say sorry though... People learnt from mistakes and will avoid to repeat the same thing... Still I usually find it hard to learn from my mistakes, especially when there are emotions involved... [sorry, this is out of topic]

I used to link Averdim and named it as my Ngau Jiong [Idol] in my older blogspot, and I got laughed and teased for that by my friends for doing that... But again I linked him up, b4 asking for permission (I'm sorry) in this blog... I rather admire the way he blogs... simple, yet interesting, and also more or less reflects his characteristic... [I'm not saying that I know him well just by reading his blog, don't get me wrong!!!] And every time I read his blog it never fails to make me look back at my own blog and feel humble for myself... [I find shameful is not the appropriate word, as it's not that serious] Just it always makes me evaluate myself to produce some better posts instead of craps all the while...

My post today seems rather long, and I'm trying to change my blogging style... But if you notice this, after such a long post... I'm still I, ME and MYSELF-ing... So? What can do?? People certainly do not change overnight, what more just within hours?? Very big possibility that I'll live on as the individualistic_mk for the rest of my life... Whether you like it or not :P
Adios~Cheerio~



mk.the fishmonger
[cuz i selfish = sell fish]

Back from emo-ing!

Oops sorry, I had a tough battle of dilemma and confusion yesterday night that caused my emo moment. But don't worry, I'm back to normal now... You wouldn't believe how silly I am, even me myself wouldn't believe it!!
You see, my work have been so boring that I have to bring some extra things to do during my working hours... First, I started with bringing fictions to read, then cross-stitch to make, playing computer card games for zillions of rounds and even translate mandarin lyrics into 'pin yin' for my friend... Now, I have found a new thing to kill my time, instead of 'eating snakes' and loiter around KP, I brought my notebook to work and blog during work...
Ehem, please be noted that when i say notebook, i literally mean the real notebook with papers... I was like writing out pages and pages of crap and then come home to retype it and post... This is exactly what i am doing now... Yes, silly me~
It also directly reflects how boring my job is, yet hau wei said i got the best job in town. As I basically just have to sit that dreaming for the most of the time and get fairly high pay... Well nothing much to be proud of, DUH!!

For my birthday, I had two celebration, one at Station1 with my friends and another with family at home... Oh that reminds me of my cake and I haven't eat dinner yet as i planned to take the cake as dinner... Yet now my stomach is still empty!!! zzzz

So much for today... Muaxx

Happy Birthday To Me~
I had a wonderful celebration at Meru Station1 yesterday night...
But I'm kinda emo at the moment...
Update later perhaps i will...
PERHAPS~


mk

Back in action...

Ever since STPM... I have not been blogging for a couple of months...
I even deleted my old blog in xanga... I guess i was having hormone disorder i guess...
Unusual level of adrenaline in my body makes me can't think straight....
Yes, I'm trying to blame it on my adrenal gland instead of me being emo...
What so ever, today i suddenly feel like blogging again... And so, i created a new one...
So lebih... I wonder will my old readers get to know bout this blog again...

Oh yes, I have a hair cut today... like again?? lol short hair is hard to maintain... zzzz
this time i go for one-length-bob... Maybe end of feb i'll go for graduation bob...
Love bob hair style... but nowadays so many people out there also carry a bob head...
makes it so common... no likey...

Haven't blog for awhile, i've become rather rusty on blogging... so gonna stop here for today...

Adios~