Hey people, you are reading my blog now, post of the century~ as I have not appeared on the cyber world for no idea how long. Since you can read this, then I guess I’m still alive. Being a H1N1 positive is the biggest nightmare of my life!! Let alone all the stuff that I have gone through during my suspected period, I had been informed the wrong information twice!! It’s too frustrating for me to spill it out here… The GH Penang shows no consistency in their data provision. Do bare with my whinny complaints as I’m a sick patient quarantined somewhere inside GH Penang. Luckily I brought my laptop and thus, I was typing my post in the GH…
Alright, let me start from my onset…
2 July 2009
Started to feel unwell, had mild cough… Still practicing at the Wanderers… Unhappy L
3 July 2009
Wake up in the morning, bad sore throat and cough, dizziness, fever and decided to take a day off from Wanderers. Was asked to quarantine at Bakti Permai, one of the USM hostel and asked a friend to fetch me there, by then >> ill till half dead… Was taken to the Wellness centre of USM for screening and wow 39 degree Celsius!! Win already lo… The best thing is, I was wearing mask then, they were not aware that I was one of the committee of APPS, thus, no caution. I was confused and surprised that they let my bf to talk to me without mask!! Ish ish then suddenly!!! Someone found out I was in the APPS then everyone start wearing mask and gloves, immediately I was transfer to an isolation room and then send to the general hospital for H1N1 screening. Personals at GH are so geared up to protect against the infectious disease, I practically can’t see any part of their body exposed in air, and their whole body were wrapped up in plastic!! I was treated like some kind of freaky virus spreading maniac!! After the throat swab they immediately asked the ambulance to send me back to USM. Zzz I ended up spending a night at Wellness Centre Quarantine room, and my poor bf got quarantine as well at the isolation block.
*p/s: vomited 3 times today, didn’t really eat anything, was vomiting water and gastric juice. Ewwww!!!
4 July 2009
Moved to Bakti, everyone called that block “Hilton”, and was given single room on a different floor from the rest. Meal and water was provided and was not allowed out of the room, movements only restricted to the washroom. In the afternoon, someone from the pej*bat kesih*tan come to my quarantine room and get all my contacts during the period of APPS till my onset, then he tells me that I’m a positive and wanted to send me to the GH, after I have informed my mom and few of my close mates, he then tells me it’s pending. Zzzz he then apologize and left, leaving me depressed over my status!! Later around 10 at night, someone from the GH called and informed me that I was negative in the throat swab test. I was instantly delighted and called my doctor to share the good news, and I particularly make her to confirm with the hospital before letting out of quarantine. Of course I didn’t wait any longer to share the good news with mom.
5 July 2009
I waited for the doctor to confirm my test result, and she came back with the good news, so not for long I was released from the quarantine block. I then went back to Tekun – my hostel to check into my room. Not to forget to inform those who were concern that I was negative and kinda celebrated with bf and friends then night slept at Wern Ting’s room.
6 July 2009
A call from GH wake me from my “Date with Mr. Zhou” aka sleep~ The officer now tells me that I was tested positive and they are sending an ambulance over to transport me to the Penang GH. I was shocked and furious and clarified with them that I was told negative. But they insisted that it was the formal printout that indicates that I’m a positive so reluctantly I start packing my bag for a 2 days isolation. I suspected that things may drag longer than it supposed so I prepared for 1 day extra. This time I’m smart enough to bring along my laptop which is why I get to blog at GH, but I was too nauseous to complete it by then so most of this post I type it later, which is now… The ambulance came and again I saw this plastic covered man and he escorted me to the ambulance. Upon reaching the GH, they only allow me to proceed after they have cleared the entire path that I’m going to pass by to get to the isolation room… I’ve got a security guard and a medical officer escorting me and clearing a path of 2 meters radius from me. Civilians in the GH were asked to move aside for me to pass… See la, so “big card”!! Translate that into mandarin and get what I mean. I got a single room with tv, bathroom and air-conditioned… 4 of my other friends were admitted to the same place and they came into my room for a little chitty chat that slightly cheered me up a little. Recalling I was crying all the way from the ambulance to my room. Not because of H1N1 positive, but I was super upset and angry on the wrong information given earlier!!! I was released to the public and might have spread the virus to others!!! And on top of that, I have caused my roommate and friend to be quarantined in “Hilton”!!! Which!! Is a lot of inconvenience!!! It’s not that we are free people with nothing else better to do!! Yup, very emotionally unstable today…
7 July 2009 ~ and 8 July 2009
Today is supposed to be the first day of Year 2 Sem 1, but the School of Pharmacy of USM has canceled all the classes of Year 2, 3 and 4 for a week and was planning to replace it during the mid sem break, oh this is sad… Spent a night in GH and I was supposed to be discharged after the 6th dose of Tamiflu – the antiviral drug for H1N1, which is today… With no place to go for “Home Quarantine”, I together with Wong my final year senior was sent to Hospital Kepala Batas for quarantine until we finished the 10th dose. The ambulance driver (again wrapped in layers of plastic) was sooooooooooo reckless that I’m more worried that I might die of accident instead of swine flu… Geez!! We were allocated in the nurse hostel for 2 nights and here it’s less comfortable and creepier~~ Only 2 of us in the entire hostel… Spooky!! Anyhow, my time was killed more easily with the science fiction my senior once sent me… The novel again is about contagion, narrating few freaking scary infectious diseases like plague, tularemia, and Rocky Mountain spotted fever being spread in a general hospital. The scary nosocomial infection kinda gave me goosebumps given I was admitted to the hospital at the moment… Sigh… and the food sucks!! I wonder if they have dietitians in hospitals to take care of patients’ diet… I was given oily, spicy food for meals and even fried chicken and French fries… So much for healthy diet~
9 July 2009
I finished my 10th Tamiflu this morning and this means that I’m FREEEE!!!!!
It never ever came across me that I’ll be infected by any pandemic disease. Well, perhaps I’m not much of a fortune teller; God knows what’s waiting ahead of me… June 2009 had been the worst month of my life… I have way too many frustrations happen due to some of the decisions I have made. Now that my life is slowly crawling back to normal, I have started to accelerate my pace to keep up with my hectic life as a 2nd year Pharmacy student, projects awaiting:
1) Pharmacy School Orientation Week – delayed for 1week thanks to H1N1
2) The Wanderers Concert – 31 July 2009
3) Bungalow Stay – 1st & 2nd August 2009
Let me get all those done while busy with my already scary 2nd Year Sem 1 studies and I will come back to my blog again… till then muaxx~~
Showing posts with label EmoManiac. Show all posts
Showing posts with label EmoManiac. Show all posts
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
共鸣？
最近心情有点起伏，
尤其这两天，
大概因为又在看韩剧，
“花样男孩”-- 韩版流星花园，
总是这样，看着曲折离奇的剧情，
心里总有不少共鸣，也有很多感慨。。。
连续看了两天，哭得眼睛都肿起来了！！
像酱 (@_@)
刚刚看了一幕：
夏在景问具俊表，友情与爱情二选一，会选哪样？
不禁让我想起某人问过我的同一翻话。。。
但男主角的回答比我酷百倍！！
他说两者都要。在他的字典里没有抛弃这两个字。。。
果然很帅！
比起台湾的道明寺，他强太多了！！！
总之近日老是感到不安，也说不上为什么。。。
就酱。。。
Ja ne~
mk
大概因为又在看韩剧，
“花样男孩”-- 韩版流星花园，
总是这样，看着曲折离奇的剧情，
心里总有不少共鸣，也有很多感慨。。。
连续看了两天，哭得眼睛都肿起来了！！
像酱 (@_@)
刚刚看了一幕：
夏在景问具俊表，友情与爱情二选一，会选哪样？
不禁让我想起某人问过我的同一翻话。。。
但男主角的回答比我酷百倍！！
他说两者都要。在他的字典里没有抛弃这两个字。。。
果然很帅！
比起台湾的道明寺，他强太多了！！！
总之近日老是感到不安，也说不上为什么。。。
就酱。。。
Ja ne~
mk
Monday, February 16, 2009
真的不懂吗？
不知何时，我爱上了用中文写部落格。。。
因为可以很感性，很明白，很诗意；
又或很抽象的写出某时某刻的心情。。。
那一夜，我失眠了。
在床上翻来覆去的我又写了一小段：
又是一个失眠的夜晚，
女孩打开了笔记型电脑，
只想把此刻的心情记录下来。。。
不知为何在这元宵之夜，
女孩好像特别特别地想他，
脑里不停地幻想着种种的放肆，
幻想着把自己一头栽进他怀里，
心里有股冲动如活火山似，
只差一触便会即时爆发！
女孩仰卧着，嘴里哼着抒情歌，
不知不觉思绪飘到了从前的他，
当时意识清楚知道已走到了尽头，
却贪婪地沉溺在他温柔的怀抱中，
好像中了毒一样的不可自拔！
从幸福洋溢的调情，
演变成泪湿的吻别，
只能苦笑一个无奈，
而再哀叹一个悲哀，
悠悠飘逸空气中的，
不过就是一缕讽刺 。
偶尔会回想这一路走来。。。
被逼放弃的可能，
死要面子的硬撑，
一时冲动的决定，
孤单寂寞的夜晚，
忐忑不安的心灵，
自甘堕落的活该，
若无其事的淌血，
左右为难的矛盾，
滔滔不绝的烦恼，
一言难尽的无奈，
还有种种的种种，
想了想，
再嘲笑自己的不知所谓，
到底在搞什么？
为什么人家都是那么简简单单地过，
而我非要把自己的人生弄得那么复杂？
一直坚持自己的执著，
到最后我会快乐吗？
真的能得到幸福吗？
让人伤心难过得我，
配吗？
我不懂。。。
我说我不懂，我真的不懂吗？
好像只是用来逃避的三个字。。。
有时人家用可爱来形容我，
但我觉得可笑，可悲，可恶，可怜，更为合适。。。
糟糕！自我厌恶的毛病好像变严重了。。。
一直交错在自恋与自厌之间，
快精神分裂了。。。
不写了。。。 拜拜
因为可以很感性，很明白，很诗意；
又或很抽象的写出某时某刻的心情。。。
那一夜，我失眠了。
在床上翻来覆去的我又写了一小段：
又是一个失眠的夜晚，
女孩打开了笔记型电脑，
只想把此刻的心情记录下来。。。
不知为何在这元宵之夜，
女孩好像特别特别地想他，
脑里不停地幻想着种种的放肆，
幻想着把自己一头栽进他怀里，
心里有股冲动如活火山似，
只差一触便会即时爆发！
女孩仰卧着，嘴里哼着抒情歌，
不知不觉思绪飘到了从前的他，
当时意识清楚知道已走到了尽头，
却贪婪地沉溺在他温柔的怀抱中，
好像中了毒一样的不可自拔！
从幸福洋溢的调情，
演变成泪湿的吻别，
只能苦笑一个无奈，
而再哀叹一个悲哀，
悠悠飘逸空气中的，
不过就是一缕讽刺 。
偶尔会回想这一路走来。。。
被逼放弃的可能，
死要面子的硬撑，
一时冲动的决定，
孤单寂寞的夜晚，
忐忑不安的心灵，
自甘堕落的活该，
若无其事的淌血，
左右为难的矛盾，
滔滔不绝的烦恼，
一言难尽的无奈，
还有种种的种种，
想了想，
再嘲笑自己的不知所谓，
到底在搞什么？
为什么人家都是那么简简单单地过，
而我非要把自己的人生弄得那么复杂？
一直坚持自己的执著，
到最后我会快乐吗？
真的能得到幸福吗？
让人伤心难过得我，
配吗？
我不懂。。。
我说我不懂，我真的不懂吗？
好像只是用来逃避的三个字。。。
有时人家用可爱来形容我，
但我觉得可笑，可悲，可恶，可怜，更为合适。。。
糟糕！自我厌恶的毛病好像变严重了。。。
一直交错在自恋与自厌之间，
快精神分裂了。。。
不写了。。。 拜拜
Friday, January 2, 2009
Self Evaluation of the year
1 Jan 2009 - Thursday
I woke up in the morning in a self-hating mode. I hate myself for being so self-centered, self-devouring and selfish. I am always aware that one of my weaknesses is being too self-centered, so selfish to the point that I took others for granted without noticing that I did. Yet I did nothing to change, in fact I doubt that I can ever change… A joking question of a friend of mine strikes my head and kept me thinking over the things that I’ve done… Yes, I felt offended; offended by realizing how I have taken my friend for granted. I try to have him helping me to finish up what I can’t consume anymore. Even if my initial intention is to avoid food wastage, and since he has always portrait big appetite… and my excuses went infinitely, I don’t even felt like explaining myself back then, maybe because even I am not convinced by my lame excuses… I felt so bad on the spot, so embarrassed and shameful of myself, yet there’s nothing I can do but faking smile… Shit!! Another hypocritical act of mine…
Since my emotion had become rather unstable, chain reactions occur. I started to think of many other times that I have taken other people for granted, people that I love! [Reminds me of the song ‘If I were a boy’ by Beyonce] I had my mom waited for me in her car; I had him waited alone while I study for examination, and many more… For a person with pride like mine, it’s hard for me to accept the fact that I have such characteristics… Yes, I want to be a noble person with good personalities, remarkable social circle nevertheless to be everything that will eventually prepare me to lead a successful life, a life of optimum wellness. Then I started to wonder, from movies that I’ve watched, am I one of those ‘Mean Girls’?? That I am somehow over-confident, usually talk what I think without much considerations, sometimes too proud, at times offensive, occasionally mean and more…
I like being around friends, hanging out as a clique, then till I realize, when my close friends are not around, I don’t have girl friends to hang out, for I haven’t been very friendly to everyone… What is the right thing to do? Shall I entertain everyone all the time to portrait a friendly image?? I am no joker… What if I get tired? What if I’m not born an extrovert? What if I get moody? I don’t see why I need to entertain everyone at all time… Yet I feel like I’m doing it… As I blog, I try to search within my soul, asking who am I? What do I like? How I want to live my life? And that goes on, I believe in my life long learning process, these questions will never cease to appear across my mind and I will continue in search of my true self… With that I will end my moody day with a long sigh and start a new day, a new year now…
I woke up in the morning in a self-hating mode. I hate myself for being so self-centered, self-devouring and selfish. I am always aware that one of my weaknesses is being too self-centered, so selfish to the point that I took others for granted without noticing that I did. Yet I did nothing to change, in fact I doubt that I can ever change… A joking question of a friend of mine strikes my head and kept me thinking over the things that I’ve done… Yes, I felt offended; offended by realizing how I have taken my friend for granted. I try to have him helping me to finish up what I can’t consume anymore. Even if my initial intention is to avoid food wastage, and since he has always portrait big appetite… and my excuses went infinitely, I don’t even felt like explaining myself back then, maybe because even I am not convinced by my lame excuses… I felt so bad on the spot, so embarrassed and shameful of myself, yet there’s nothing I can do but faking smile… Shit!! Another hypocritical act of mine…
Since my emotion had become rather unstable, chain reactions occur. I started to think of many other times that I have taken other people for granted, people that I love! [Reminds me of the song ‘If I were a boy’ by Beyonce] I had my mom waited for me in her car; I had him waited alone while I study for examination, and many more… For a person with pride like mine, it’s hard for me to accept the fact that I have such characteristics… Yes, I want to be a noble person with good personalities, remarkable social circle nevertheless to be everything that will eventually prepare me to lead a successful life, a life of optimum wellness. Then I started to wonder, from movies that I’ve watched, am I one of those ‘Mean Girls’?? That I am somehow over-confident, usually talk what I think without much considerations, sometimes too proud, at times offensive, occasionally mean and more…
I like being around friends, hanging out as a clique, then till I realize, when my close friends are not around, I don’t have girl friends to hang out, for I haven’t been very friendly to everyone… What is the right thing to do? Shall I entertain everyone all the time to portrait a friendly image?? I am no joker… What if I get tired? What if I’m not born an extrovert? What if I get moody? I don’t see why I need to entertain everyone at all time… Yet I feel like I’m doing it… As I blog, I try to search within my soul, asking who am I? What do I like? How I want to live my life? And that goes on, I believe in my life long learning process, these questions will never cease to appear across my mind and I will continue in search of my true self… With that I will end my moody day with a long sigh and start a new day, a new year now…
Happy 2009 peeps!!
mk
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
It haven't change much..
Had a new hair cut yesterday afternoon.. So sorry for causing ivan to be late for work and he eventually didn't work yesterday night aiks, and sorry for causing ben to be late for his badminton game in the evening.. Somehow everytime I wanna change my hairstyle, I was hoping that somehow after the physical change I can also change the spiritual me, to live on with a new me from within... However, no matter how many times i cut my hair, dye a new colour, or get a fresh new look, I still feel like the old me.. Looks like my success in escapism only last for a very short moment.. I love my life in Penang, the life that I feel so fresh myself, with new friends, new topics, new environment and all.. and most importantly, there is nothing in Penang that reminds me of the past.. The memories that I wish to remember no more.. Somethings are just unforgettable when they are already engraved on ones heart.. In Penang, the engraves are covered and burried by the hectic lifes and merry happenings, they were so unnoticeable to the point that I can deny their existances... When i was happily indulging myself as the so called new me, I came back to Klang, where emo starts kicking, and some pain starts digging... A simple word, a brief glance, a familiar route, everything seems to linked to the past that seems so clear, as if it was just yesterday... no matter how much i wish to deny it, every indication has finally prove me weak and failed to move on.. my heart still skip a beat when i hear the name.. eventhough the sore is not as excruciating as it was, it's presence is undeniable.. if one year is not enough to let go, I'll use two.. if two years are insufficient still, I'll have three... one day... i believe... i will wake up in the morning, in klang and felt no him no more..
mk
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Bad Day
I started off my day with the worst morning ever!!! I'm clueless of what's going on with my life... I am always able to set my priorities right but not now... Frustrated... Could it be for I have not been able to focus on abstract future?? Or merely because I have just other shit in my mind... Eventually it's a bit of both... And two wrongs definitely WON'T make a right...
Right, I AM emo-ing at this moment... Which is the biggest reason why I'm blogging at this early hour... Yes, 9am is EARLY for I usually sleep my morning away and awake at noon... I'm still exhausted over the 3 days of outings... Saturday to KL then Pyramid; Sunday went for Japanese Buffet at Jogoya, JW Meriot Hotel, KL; Yesterday whole day at Starhill then night at Setapak... Want me to elaborate more?? Maybe next time...
I'm feeling a little dizzy, and mild headache... It feels like hung over, but I have not taken a single drop of alcohol yesterday... When more things don't turn out the way I want them to be, my life goes from bad to worse... Why can't local university be more efficient with the intake... I'm sick of waiting for one after another outcome of applications... CCM scholarship still no sound no picture, have obviously failed in YKhazanah and Shell... and no idea how's Y.Pahang... FED UP!!!
Yesterday went to PV6, Melati Utama, Setapak to celebrate Cheng's birthday and visited TARians condominium... A very basic space of living with basic needs of living... All I remember are matresses in the rooms, messy and unmade 'beds', cupboard for clothes, washed towels and clothes hanging in the living room and balcony, many study tables each with a pc/laptop on it... Waaaa, I sort of foresee my university life staying away from home...
Blogging is a good way to release the imbalanced.negative energy in me as I was so emo and moody just now that I feel like if I could just die!!! [no la, committing suicide is the last thing that will come across my mind, homocide will comes first] But now, after some typing and crapping, I sort of forgot what I'm emo-ing on... Well not exactly forget but the unpleasant feeling don't get on me that much now...
The biggest problem with me now is that I can't accept changes in things, life and people around me... This is just another period of transition in my life, when I'm changing from a high school student to an university student; when reaching a step closer or further to my dream; when I'm recovering from a relationship; but everything is so unstable that anything can change drastically in a blink of an eye...
Tomorrow if my appeal success, I'll be leaving to Singapore; if my appeal failed I'll stay local; local if I get USM, I'll be leaving ALOT of my friends and head to Penang; If I cant's get pharmacy in local, I'm going to SG and gamble my future; there're so many IF and I have to be physically and mentally prepared for each and every possible outcome which indirectly exerted a form of stress and pressure which are causing my depression...
Love wise, there's nothing much I can do for the time being... Facing seems to be the hardest way... Therefore I'm doing what I do best; escapism and ignorance... Time please fly faster, just let me have something to do and keep me busy away from thinking of you... Endurance and pride both has a limit, I have exceeded mine and I'm aware that more effort will bare no fruits, therefore I surrender... I hope I can stick to my vow for this time... Just this once...
mk.fallen
Right, I AM emo-ing at this moment... Which is the biggest reason why I'm blogging at this early hour... Yes, 9am is EARLY for I usually sleep my morning away and awake at noon... I'm still exhausted over the 3 days of outings... Saturday to KL then Pyramid; Sunday went for Japanese Buffet at Jogoya, JW Meriot Hotel, KL; Yesterday whole day at Starhill then night at Setapak... Want me to elaborate more?? Maybe next time...
I'm feeling a little dizzy, and mild headache... It feels like hung over, but I have not taken a single drop of alcohol yesterday... When more things don't turn out the way I want them to be, my life goes from bad to worse... Why can't local university be more efficient with the intake... I'm sick of waiting for one after another outcome of applications... CCM scholarship still no sound no picture, have obviously failed in YKhazanah and Shell... and no idea how's Y.Pahang... FED UP!!!
Yesterday went to PV6, Melati Utama, Setapak to celebrate Cheng's birthday and visited TARians condominium... A very basic space of living with basic needs of living... All I remember are matresses in the rooms, messy and unmade 'beds', cupboard for clothes, washed towels and clothes hanging in the living room and balcony, many study tables each with a pc/laptop on it... Waaaa, I sort of foresee my university life staying away from home...
Blogging is a good way to release the imbalanced.negative energy in me as I was so emo and moody just now that I feel like if I could just die!!! [no la, committing suicide is the last thing that will come across my mind, homocide will comes first] But now, after some typing and crapping, I sort of forgot what I'm emo-ing on... Well not exactly forget but the unpleasant feeling don't get on me that much now...
The biggest problem with me now is that I can't accept changes in things, life and people around me... This is just another period of transition in my life, when I'm changing from a high school student to an university student; when reaching a step closer or further to my dream; when I'm recovering from a relationship; but everything is so unstable that anything can change drastically in a blink of an eye...
Tomorrow if my appeal success, I'll be leaving to Singapore; if my appeal failed I'll stay local; local if I get USM, I'll be leaving ALOT of my friends and head to Penang; If I cant's get pharmacy in local, I'm going to SG and gamble my future; there're so many IF and I have to be physically and mentally prepared for each and every possible outcome which indirectly exerted a form of stress and pressure which are causing my depression...
Love wise, there's nothing much I can do for the time being... Facing seems to be the hardest way... Therefore I'm doing what I do best; escapism and ignorance... Time please fly faster, just let me have something to do and keep me busy away from thinking of you... Endurance and pride both has a limit, I have exceeded mine and I'm aware that more effort will bare no fruits, therefore I surrender... I hope I can stick to my vow for this time... Just this once...
mk.fallen
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Still too tired to blog...
I'm sorry, I'm physically, psycologically and emotionally tired still... Ehem, sounds familiar?? No I'm not having my PMS... Just tired k?
Well just posting to indicate that I came back in a piece... Alive...
Bye
mk.moody
Well just posting to indicate that I came back in a piece... Alive...
Bye
mk.moody
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Short peace of mind...
I am proud to announce that my blog actually have a couple of loyal readers... Make it a dozen, can I? So I'll try to update as often as possible so that you do not come here and have to bare to look at the stinking-not fresh-rotting-with spider web-old post for days... I'll TRY~
Now... If life is like a roller coaster ride, I have no idea whether I'm up or down... So confused, that I have no idea whether I'm flying or falling... I have been over-spending [still not stopping], over-worked my ass off at PDI, overwhelmed when a message sent, and overdoomed when a message received...
Everytime, I said EVERYTIME!!! When I finally made a real hard decision, something just have to jump out off nowhere and ruin my plan... Eventually I break the vow I've made to myself, and break the promise I've made to my friends... Can we actually regret over our regrets? Ignore me, me.emo.mo.mo.mo....
Today I had lunch alone at Pizza Hut Bukit Raja (BR)... I just have to announce when I do things alone... wanna dramatically show some lonesome here~ Neeway, unlike those other times that I used to take lunch alone when I work at KP, where I felt awfully miserable myself, I felt peace instead today... For some reason, my mind was so messy that everything becomes so abstract and it stops thinking... I actually planned to used my lunch time to sort out something, but I can't seems to get anything out from my mind to be sort out, I mindlessly, cut and chew my pizzas peacefully...
UNTIL!!!
A bunch of noisy-loud speaking-kids [teenagers-looks 15] comes in and spoiled my peace of mind... So there goes my peace... I so miss that peace now...
My work isn't so bad as I have some wacky collegues... And today we were cracking lame jokes to kill time, such as how to do magic without using any tools and et cetera... Laugh my lungs out as the actions are super lame... Well, some of you might not enjoy it, but I totally buy it!! Hilarious!! LOL then I got home and share with my family, they too laugh hard and 'sweat' at the same time...
Just to share my happy day~ With some emo moments..
Overall, Great!
Muaxx
mk
Now... If life is like a roller coaster ride, I have no idea whether I'm up or down... So confused, that I have no idea whether I'm flying or falling... I have been over-spending [still not stopping], over-worked my ass off at PDI, overwhelmed when a message sent, and overdoomed when a message received...
Everytime, I said EVERYTIME!!! When I finally made a real hard decision, something just have to jump out off nowhere and ruin my plan... Eventually I break the vow I've made to myself, and break the promise I've made to my friends... Can we actually regret over our regrets? Ignore me, me.emo.mo.mo.mo....
Today I had lunch alone at Pizza Hut Bukit Raja (BR)... I just have to announce when I do things alone... wanna dramatically show some lonesome here~ Neeway, unlike those other times that I used to take lunch alone when I work at KP, where I felt awfully miserable myself, I felt peace instead today... For some reason, my mind was so messy that everything becomes so abstract and it stops thinking... I actually planned to used my lunch time to sort out something, but I can't seems to get anything out from my mind to be sort out, I mindlessly, cut and chew my pizzas peacefully...
UNTIL!!!
A bunch of noisy-loud speaking-kids [teenagers-looks 15] comes in and spoiled my peace of mind... So there goes my peace... I so miss that peace now...
My work isn't so bad as I have some wacky collegues... And today we were cracking lame jokes to kill time, such as how to do magic without using any tools and et cetera... Laugh my lungs out as the actions are super lame... Well, some of you might not enjoy it, but I totally buy it!! Hilarious!! LOL then I got home and share with my family, they too laugh hard and 'sweat' at the same time...
Just to share my happy day~ With some emo moments..
Overall, Great!
Muaxx
mk
Friday, April 18, 2008
Buzzzzzei
Finally Missy Busy here found some time to blog, but the truth is my junkie lappy keep showing me patterns and auto shut down everytime I switched it on, so I now get to blog 5 minutes after I reformatted this laptop... By the way, good news ahead is that I'm getting a new laptop tomorrow!!! A 12.1" Acer Aspire 2920 , hiahiahia... Hope nothing comes up and break my dreams... This morning went to IDP Subang to collect my IELTS results, got an overall band of 7.5... Not bad, but did quite badly in Writng and Speaking... So not happy...
_____~Confession Booth~_____
I have been spending a bomb lately, I'm so sorry for not spending wisely... Firstly, Redang trip costs me hundreds, and I abruptly decided to get myself a pair of sunnies, an economical one yet still costly for me from Morgan@ Focus Point Fair @ JJ Bukit Raja... But now abit regret didn't asked for more discount... T.T Gahaha, I'm having difficulties controling my expenditure, seriously...
Conclusion : I POKAI D!!!!
_____~Sia Sui Moments~_____
One lady should never reveal her sia sui moment, but then... I guess you all know I got a part time job at PDI Bukit Raja... Dad waited for me to get home for a couple of nights till 11pm and he emo on me asking me to quit the job, at most till the end of april... I was like.... Okay?! Haha, one secret that's not a secret anymore to be shared>>> I a.k.a tai siu je also cannot tahan the job that stand 8 hours a day... So I told my supervisor I'm quiting.. So awkward now... My collegues are giving me those one-kind-look... wtf!
_____~Emomomomoment~_____
Look^^ Above is my 4 year old wallet... I got it in a present exchange during Christmas 2004 from my so-called ex-pet-brother... Then around 2006, I got myself a red Milk Teddy purse [love purses from MT] and during this year's Ching Ming prayer, I let my cousin kept my purse in her bag and careless us let her bring it all the way home to Endau, Pahang.. So I "lost" my purse and was using the old one for a few days... Thinking of getting a new CarloRino one but can't spend that much on only a purse, I'd rather have that amount of money in my purse you see.. Haha, so I got myself a new MT again... Chosen by Eric [hey eric, here's your ke le fe name appearing again].. As below vv...
Might you be wondering what does my emomomomoment gotta do with my new and old purse??? Haha, nothing much, just that when I look at my new and old purse in the afternoon, something flashes though my mind... When I lost my purse, I can just get a new one and carry on my life, but when I've lost my love, why can't i just get a new one and move on???
emomomomomomomomomo (x infinity)
tata
mk
Monday, April 7, 2008
THINK!!!
The eyes of mine are not feeling so well today,
was kinda blur when I watched movie
"The Three Kingdom"
in the afternoon with lilian dear,
still fortunate that I'm not seeing
ddoouubbllee vviissiioonn...
Maybe because they were flooded last night...
Thanks to Edwin,
my getting better life sort of wretched again...
Very confused at this moment,
very tired since I slept at 4am again...
Keep asked me to think...
and think...
and think...
as if I never did...
So now am thinking again,
with my somewhat exhausted mind...
Going to sleep, after a cuppa I guess...
Good night, world...
mk.dead
was kinda blur when I watched movie
"The Three Kingdom"
in the afternoon with lilian dear,
still fortunate that I'm not seeing
ddoouubbllee vviissiioonn...
Maybe because they were flooded last night...
Thanks to Edwin,
my getting better life sort of wretched again...
Very confused at this moment,
very tired since I slept at 4am again...
Keep asked me to think...
and think...
and think...
as if I never did...
So now am thinking again,
with my somewhat exhausted mind...
Going to sleep, after a cuppa I guess...
Good night, world...
mk.dead
Saturday, March 29, 2008
我的心真的受伤了-张学友
It's been 3 months I live without you, obviously I'm still alive... Which means I can live without you, just a little miserable... Glad to hear that you moved on, living your usual happy-go-lucky way, yet upset to see you being able to forget right after everything... I heard it's a norm for guys... How sarcastically ironic... Such a disgrace to have to live like this, holding on to something that no longer exists, living in dreams of memories, feeding on words that no longer sound...
What goes around comes around, maybe it's the mistakes I've done that makes me deserve this, drowned in my wonders, unaware of the calmness before a catastrophe, until the alarm rang and nothing can be done... There's gain and loss you said, that sacrifices have to be made for some decisions. Then there's more gain than loss you said, but how do you measure which I treasure more??
Silly things I've done in the past 3 months, dramatically portrait lonesome, idiotically numb myself with alcohol, cried in the middle of the night like some weaklings, made vows and promises like a loser, and etc etc etc... Hate being a weakling, hate being a loser, hate myself!! *~cuz I hate how much I love you boy~* oops, crap the Rihanna... Not getting over you in the near future, but don't worry I still love myself more enough to not let you ruin my life... Muaxx
mk.love.me
What goes around comes around, maybe it's the mistakes I've done that makes me deserve this, drowned in my wonders, unaware of the calmness before a catastrophe, until the alarm rang and nothing can be done... There's gain and loss you said, that sacrifices have to be made for some decisions. Then there's more gain than loss you said, but how do you measure which I treasure more??
Silly things I've done in the past 3 months, dramatically portrait lonesome, idiotically numb myself with alcohol, cried in the middle of the night like some weaklings, made vows and promises like a loser, and etc etc etc... Hate being a weakling, hate being a loser, hate myself!! *~cuz I hate how much I love you boy~* oops, crap the Rihanna... Not getting over you in the near future, but don't worry I still love myself more enough to not let you ruin my life... Muaxx
mk.love.me
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Big Girls Don't Cry~
Just like every other lonely night, it's just me staying awake, facing the laptop, doing
This song so happened to flash through my mind...
Yes, I'm gonna miss you like a child misses her blanket, but I've got to get it move on with my life~
It's never time to be a big girl, since I'm "heng kecik"... But "heng kecik" don't cry as well... Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, not even in Mk's Neverland...
So get it over with......
"Big Girls Don't Cry"
Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity
[CHORUS:]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
[CHORUS]
Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity
[CHORUS]
La Da Da Da Da Da
This song so happened to flash through my mind...
Yes, I'm gonna miss you like a child misses her blanket, but I've got to get it move on with my life~
It's never time to be a big girl, since I'm "heng kecik"... But "heng kecik" don't cry as well... Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, not even in Mk's Neverland...
So get it over with......
"Big Girls Don't Cry"
Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity
[CHORUS:]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
[CHORUS]
Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity
[CHORUS]
La Da Da Da Da Da
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
So much for my off day today...
boring~ But no need to work how also syok one...
Played bowling with those dogs [don't understand why they like to call each other dog]
Didn't score well, ugh ugh... And the swimming plan for today got canceled because of the SUPER UBER heavy rain the pours Klang Valley during the evening... Deng!! Plus it was me driving on the highway during the "storm", thus makes me freaking stressed and tension because i can't see the road!!! Then when I went to fetch my bro at Klang High, (weather : still pouring heavily) that brainless idiot walk out with the oh-i'm-so-gaya-walking-in-the-rain look and come and step into my car with his body soaking wet!!! (I was in a queue to get into the school for him though) I was so furious at how stupid he can be and practically yelled at him and scolded him all the way until we reach home... His hair never dry up because my saliva keeps splashing onto his face!!! *kidding*
This is what you get when i update a post on my emo moment... and sorry to people around me when i'm in the emo mode...
p/s: STPM results should be coming out by mid March...
(Not as the rumour says : before election...)
mk.emo.freak
boring~ But no need to work how also syok one...
Played bowling with those dogs [don't understand why they like to call each other dog]
Didn't score well, ugh ugh... And the swimming plan for today got canceled because of the SUPER UBER heavy rain the pours Klang Valley during the evening... Deng!! Plus it was me driving on the highway during the "storm", thus makes me freaking stressed and tension because i can't see the road!!! Then when I went to fetch my bro at Klang High, (weather : still pouring heavily) that brainless idiot walk out with the oh-i'm-so-gaya-walking-in-the-rain look and come and step into my car with his body soaking wet!!! (I was in a queue to get into the school for him though) I was so furious at how stupid he can be and practically yelled at him and scolded him all the way until we reach home... His hair never dry up because my saliva keeps splashing onto his face!!! *kidding*
This is what you get when i update a post on my emo moment... and sorry to people around me when i'm in the emo mode...
p/s: STPM results should be coming out by mid March...
(Not as the rumour says : before election...)
mk.emo.freak
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