刺猬的爱情

偶尔觉得自己像刺猬，
爱用身上的尖刺武装自己，
为的只是不让自己受伤害，
但却无意的刺痛了周遭的人，
越是亲近的人，越容易被伤害。
某天遇见了一头猪，被它特别的气质吸引了。
与猪相处后，发现原来不同品种真的很难相处，
尽管处处小心，但还是会不小心地刺伤对方。。。
渐渐地，想慢慢地把身上的刺一根根地拔掉，
拔光了以后，自己也变成了只猪。
没有了刺的刺猬，要如何再保护自己呢？
还是要乖乖地接受猪的命运？？

共鸣？

最近心情有点起伏，

尤其这两天，
大概因为又在看韩剧，
“花样男孩”-- 韩版流星花园，

总是这样，看着曲折离奇的剧情，
心里总有不少共鸣，也有很多感慨。。。
连续看了两天，哭得眼睛都肿起来了！！
像酱 (@_@)
刚刚看了一幕：
夏在景问具俊表，友情与爱情二选一，会选哪样？
不禁让我想起某人问过我的同一翻话。。。
但男主角的回答比我酷百倍！！
他说两者都要。在他的字典里没有抛弃这两个字。。。
果然很帅！
比起台湾的道明寺，他强太多了！！！
总之近日老是感到不安，也说不上为什么。。。
就酱。。。


Ja ne~

mk

爱的回顾

前两天，跟哥通电时哥提起了以下话题。
哥问：你会要找个爱你比你爱他多的，还是你爱他比他爱你多的人呢？
我答：从前的我会选择前者，但现在的我不会想去衡量比较谁爱得比较深，只要彼此相爱就足够了。

“只要彼此相爱”
看似简单的一句话，事实上真的那么容易吗？
为何不行？是自身的执著？或对爱的恐惧？
即使被爱，也得不到相爱，只因为不懂得如何再爱。

前些天，可能因为寂寞的灵魂对爱渴望；
对某人产生了微妙的情愫。。。
他跟他有许多共同点，
打从第一眼就已被那似曾相识的感觉吸引，
再慢慢地相知相识，发现他的人生观与我挺相近，
加上蛮不错的外在条件，对自己的眼光还沾沾自喜呢！
尽管友人对他误解与排拆，我坚信自己是他的伯乐。
日子久了，谈得较多，了解较深，
发现两人的爱情观隔天离地，
不同的是，我并不会怀着会有分开的一天的心情去开始一段感情，
如果打从一开始就有了结束的打算，我不懂开始的意义。。。
想了想，原来两人好像并不合适。。。

当时对他的错觉，让我写了以下诗词：

暗恋，
这种久违的心情，近来让他给唤醒，
目光总有意无意地瞄向有他的方向，
尽管表面上看起来是多么的不在乎，
但却如此清楚地听见他说的每句话。

别人对他赞赏时，心里也沾沾自喜，
别人对他误解时，也总帮他说好话。
会想靠近，却隔着遥不可及的距离，
会想告白，但更怕日后相见的尴尬。

自认健谈的我，在他面前总是词穷，
自认勇敢的我，瞬间变得胆怯懦弱。
是自尊心作祟，坚守矜持不得追求？
或自卑心搞怪，自知不才不敢高攀？

当你向着目标发奋时，是否知道我，
也为了更靠近你一点而默默努力着？
当我看着你的背影而忽视了全世界，
耀眼的你是否也看得见不起眼的我？

距离
听人家说，
世上最遥远的距离，是我在你面前，你却不知道我爱你。。。
又有人说，
世上最遥远的距离，是明明相爱，却不能在一起。。。
也有人说，
世上最遥远的距离，是隔着一颗心的距离。。。
那如果说，
两人之间隔着的，不仅仅是一颗心，那是多远呢？

喜欢，
喜欢看你的背影，
是因为不敢正视你的轮廓；
喜欢听你的声音，
是因为能感受到你的情绪；
喜欢说你的故事，
是因为可以炫耀你的骄傲；
喜欢想你的如果，
是因为那是我唯一能做的。

现在读一读，竟想不起当初是以怎样的心情写的，是不是我又成长了一些，得以从幼稚的感情中获得解脱？又或者是始终逃脱不了过去的枷锁，就连眼前的感情也想一并逃离？爱情的逃兵，究竟要当到什么时候？

那天他问了我一个问题：爱情与友情选一，你会选择哪一样？
不管问题是否包含暗示或试探的成分，我不加思索地选择了后者。
即使我的回答会让0.001%的可能变成不可能，我始终觉得友谊比恋爱来得实际。宁愿享受当朋友的快乐，也不愿贪婪恋爱一时的幸福而落得失恋的悲哀。这就是现下我对爱情的恐惧、抗拒与不信任。这种心情能让我连喜欢的人都放弃，更何况是没感觉的呢？

mk

付出

在一段感情里，
俩人一定不是平等的；
其中有一方会付出比较多，
而另一方就会接受比较多，
常人看来，付出的看似比较吃亏，
而接受的看来总很幸福地享受着；
以前的我不懂，默默付出快乐吗？
曾问过友人：“为何有人会傻傻的，不断地付出？”
得到的答案，让我在感情事上有更深一层的领悟；
友人对我说：“其实最后得到最多的，付出者也。”
对于那句话，我想了很久，好像也明白了其中的意义。
你，参透了吗？

Longing for...

My aunt recommended mom a Taiwanese drama - 恶作剧之吻, It Started With A Kiss, and I'm currently into it... I know i know, this drama is like oh-my-so-freaking-long-ago thing and I'm only watching it now... Anyway, disregarding how handsome the hero in the drama is, I'm soooo into him because he's super smart... Why drama story line never happens in my life?? Well, I only get to watch 3 episodes and mom stopped the dvd and chased everyone to sleep... Since I can't sleep yet, I just wanna scream how envious am I towards the heroin!!! Lol, that naive (dumb) girl just so happen to have the best luck in the world as the super-high-IQ-top-student who is also her crush for years happens to be the son of her father's best friend... She, along with her father moved to stay with the family after their new house collapsed due to a mild earthquake.. then yadi yada bla bla bla and happy ending... Well I haven't reach the ending though...


The main point is....!!! I've always wanted to study together with the one I like, and he's the smart one and I'm the dumb one, he can teach me lots and lots of things and I 'bodo'ly admire at his intelligence and coolness... Yes, that's like one of my biggest fantasy besides marrying a rich guy and live happily ever after and etc etc... I always find that romantic!!!

Don't come and tell me :

"What?!? Studying is romantic?!? You knocked your head or what?!?"

Haha, I just can't help to feel that smart guys are sexy... Haha, well he still gotta have some look and not just plain brain and neurons... ugh ugh~ Ahaha, but I never have luck and fate with smart guys, no no... So my fantasy will remain as fantasy... Hopefully I'll get to meet one in my university life... 4 years left to materialize my dreams... Lol, praying hard for a hot cute nerd which is smarter than me... Namo namo... Haha, dramas make me dream alot more than I already did... Full time dreamer I am...

Namo... (x infinity)
tata


mk.final fantasy?

So much to say...

My laptop has been behaving like a piece of junk... Therefore, I have been lazy to blog as well... Anyway, I was so hoping to get a new laptop today but unfortunately the model that I desired is currently out of stock... Deng!! Really unlucky like sh*t or what... Omgggggggggod... Super cannot tahan my sh*tty luck... Enough complain for now and hopefully I'll lay my eye on a new model asap... zzzz

_____~Smiling Face @ News.com~_____
I've got a part time job at P.D.I @ Jaya Jusco, Bukit Raja and will start working tomorrow!! Yay!! Which means no more unforgivable time wastage and money spendings... Not exactly no more, but definitely lessen a lot... Which also means less online moment > less blogging...

_____~Thought Of The Day after Yesterday~____
Yesterday night I watched this Korean movie titled "A Moment To Remember"... The story is about a girl who is diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease at the age of 27 and she started to forget her loved ones-> family and husband... It's a sad story though, made me cried a river and drown the whole world~ And again, it also makes me realized that the chances of me getting Alzheimer's is rather high [choi choi touch wood, spit saliva and say again], since the disease is sometimes caused by inheritance... My grandmother suffered Alzheimer as well... Relating my thoughts to my current status, I'm considered a girl with somewhat good memory power and sometimes I just want to forget about what happen in my past relationship to get it over with, but yesterday after watching that show I realized that I really.seriously.definitely.absolutely.certainly.actually don't want to forget that episode of my life, which is why I'm still not getting over it... What is love without memories?? Love don't just come in a snap of the fingers, it is built with foundations of memories... Some are sad, yet beautiful... Then I realized that I blog to keep track of these memories... That's why my blog is in a diary form. When I delete my Xanga blog when I was irrationally emo-ing over the break up, I actually tried to delete my memories but some are so strong that they just won't get off my mind... Although now I'm super regret over my act of deleting the blog, but there's no point crying over spilled milk... Oh my thought have been long, but not to be surprised, I'm a lengthy thinker, and tend to think too much...

_____~Whisper In The Ears~_____
I miss you~
miss you~
miss you~~
I miss you like crazy~
Even more than....
[what's this song name???]

_____~Wish Of The Day~_____
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SHIR HONG AND BEE KIAN!!!
May your wishes come true...
*hugs and blessings*

_____~Mourn~_____
Mom's boss passed away this morning, due to complications after a "by pass" operation, rest in peace Uncle Dato...


mk